Getting naked isn't something that comes easy with me. Physically, I haven't even taken in all of my naked self, and I am quite old - almost three decades. As a child, nakedness at home was a taboo.
I have covered all my life.
Hiding became security. Pain was covered, tears were covered, failures were covered.
Even beauty was covered.
No one knew me. Darn, I didn't even know myself. And if I told you I now do, I'd be lying. But something is good about this: I am beginning to know myself. And I'm beginning to love and accept me.
A friend jokingly said to me one evening after a fellowship in school while we hosted around the place the church ushers were counting the offerings, "Ruth, let us leave where the offering is being counted o, before the offering begins to whisper 'take me, take me'... they have said, 'man, know thyself'...".
I had roared with laughter but those last words resonated in my heart,
"Man, know thyself! "
That has kickstarted my journey on self discovery.
It doesn't mean sometimes I don't seek approval from individuals I love and admire, even though I'm aware it makes little or no difference about how valuable I am. But it doesn't matter so much now how it used to.
I risk vulnerability to certain individuals who care less, and it doesn't hurt so much anymore as before that they don't care.
I'm growing.
And that's how it feels to be naked.
I talk about my pain.
That's how it feels to be naked.
I say when I fail.
That's how it feels to be naked.
I cry when I hurt.
That's how it feels to be naked.
And tonight, I embrace bare. There's something about that word. Something that screams CAPACITY.
Nakedness is capacity. It says you have room to take in the beautiful gift that's life's lessons. It says "Bring it on!"
Bring it on!
You win!
Ruthie-Sal
Writer, Editor, Friend.
[email protected]
Blessings!
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