Who doesn’t love to catch a glimpse of their portfolio and see a decline of 30% in its value? Don’t even call yourself “crypto investor” if a 5-digit loss in a single day doesn’t give you a half chub. Don’t even get me started on coins going to zero unghhhh.
“Just a flesh wound, another natural correction. If we want this to develop, we have to accept this kind of movement” you mutter to yourself. After mind numbingly watching charts and trying to predict the next sideways movement, something happens, something not even The Oracle™ (1) itself could have predicted. “But wait, this can’t be!”. As you daydream you finally feel something you haven’t felt in a very long time. Happiness. Not the regular kind of happiness, but the kind where you just don’t feel sad as usual. Flashes of November-December 2017 before your eyes. In those times, if a crypto didn’t have double digit percentage growth, it was performing poorly. You could pour money into anything that has “coin” as it’s suffix and it would not only double but triple, quadruple, quintuple and so on...
Wiping the saliva off your chin, your eyes can finally focus on what’s actually happening. This color, the color of gods, something you haven’t seen for months sitting alone in your room. 2%. “In green.” You instantly open all of social media, your most trustworthy and only source. Talks of the next bull run echo wildly. Left and right you hear abbreviations. Even words that were just spelling mistakes get turned into even more abbreviations. “These people must know what they are talking about!” After hearing all the FUD and seing it being destroyed, you decide to DCA your portfolio based on TA and FA. You HODL until this run ends, no FOMO, I have DMOR. “This time I will be BTFD and it’s going to MOON!”
You see the charts going deeper, forcing you to scroll down. Your 2% gain turned into another huge loss. “Another natural correction.” you mutter to yourself, ejaculating sadly and silently into your pants...
(1) Also known as random Redditors drawing lines on a chart in Paint.
This post is satire and shouldn't be taken serious in any way
~ This is not a normal Bear market, this is a Platypus market ~
This is my first post, all kinds of feedback and comments appreciated!
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