If you are not part of the solution in getting the marketplace to accept cryptocurrencies, you are part of the problem. Below is a recap of me at Whole Foods yesterday doing my part for our community.
I was next in line at Whole Foods. Glancing back, I noticed the length of the line of people just off work looking to buy their groceries and get home. I reconfirmed to myself that this would be the perfect time for my plan.
“Hello, sir,” I was greeted cordially by the clerk.
Not having any actual groceries, I grabbed one of the $3.00 fair-trade organic GMO-free chocolate bars in the aisle and threw it onto the conveyor belt.
“Will that be all for you?”
“Yes.”
“How would you like to pay for this?”
I pulled out my wallet, grabbed my credit card, and slapped it onto the counter.
“Not with this symbol of the antiquated financial system. I would like to pay with Bitcoin.”
“I’m sorry, sir. We actually don’t accept Bitcoin for payment.”
“That’s okay. I’ll pay with Litecoin then.”
“We only accept cash and card.”
Pretending to be confused and bewildered, I replied, “What do you mean? You’re saying you don’t accept cryptocurrencies in the year 2018?”
“Do you have cash or would you like to pay with your card?”
“I will NOT be purchasing anything with your fiat helicopter money,” I said loudly enough that those 10 people back could hear me.
The clerk didn’t know how to respond and stared at me while the gears of cognition were turning in his mind. Unfaltering, I stared back with accusatory eyes.
Some wealthy-looking prick a couple of people back grew tired of this and said, “Come on, already! Just buy your shit and stop holding up the line.”
Noticing a golden opportunity, I looked at the clerk and said, “I demand to see your manager.”
With all my might, I had to try and suppress my laughter as I heard the people in line groan.
“Listen pal, I’ll just buy your chocolate bar for you,” insisted the man behind me.
Making sure to cause at least a minor disturbance, I loudly retorted with, “Spare your change. I refuse to purchase ANYTHING with your helicopter money.”
The manager arrived just then.
“Hello, sir. What’s going on here?”
“I am trying to buy this chocolate bar and your clerk is refusing my payment.”
The clerk interjected, “This gentleman insists on paying in Bitcoin and I told him we don’t accept this type of payment.”
“I’m terribly sorry, sir. John is correct in that we don’t accept Bitcoin. We are simply not equipped for this. If you’d like, I can have you fill out a customer request form that I can present to management.”
I looked back once more at the people in line and could tell they were visibly annoyed with me.
“Yes, I would like this form. Bring it to me,” I ordered.
“Why don’t you purchase your items and then come to my office to fill this out so you don’t hold up the line?”
“No, it’s okay. Just bring it to me here.” I made sure to appear as irate as possible.
The manager looked at John, the clerk, and shrugged his shoulders as he went off to grab the form.
“If you would please step to the side and let the other customers make their purchases, Evan will return with the form shortly.”
John started the conveyor belt. I hovered my arm over it, letting it run beneath me so that the next person in line’s items would not move forward.”
Looking back to the crowd as if I were addressing them, I nearly shouted, “I WILL NOT BE TREATED LIKE A SECOND-CLASS CITIZEN BECAUSE I REFUSE TO USE YOUR FRAUDULENT FIAT CURRENCY. LET WHOLE FOODS KNOW THAT WE, THE PEOPLE, WANT CHANGE. WE WANT BITCOIN, LITECOIN, AND OTHER CRYPTOCURRENCIES ACCEPTED HERE FOR PAYMENT.”
“JUST HURRY THE F*** UP!” Some guy shouted from the line.
“Yeah? And how will you be paying, man? With your little credit card tied to your stupid bank account that…”
The manager returned and interjected before I could finish, “Here is the form. Fill it out and let’s get the line moving again.”
I grabbed a pen and spoke the words as I was writing onto the form.
“Name. Li Chang-Bang. Date. June 1st, 2018. Comments. We, the people, in order to ensure a more fair economy, demand Whole Foods to accept Bitcoin, Litecoin, or any other cryptocurrency not tied into the parasitic banking system.”
I gave the form to the manager who thanked me and informed me they would bring this up with corporate.
“Ok, sir, your total is $3.14. Are you ready to pay now?” John asked.
“Oh, this? I don’t actually want to buy anything.”
The line, which had by now turned into a mob reaching all the way to the prepared food section, vocalized their anger with a buzz of insults and curses. I walked to my car and finally allowed my laughter to explode out of me in the most cathartic release possible.
Coins mentioned in post:
Im sorry to say but this sounds like a bullshit fake news person creature... im glad if the first story was true, that Satoshi ran away from you as far as possible...
Stop writing fanfic lol.
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