This reads like a novel. I'd feel better for you if it is.
Crypto addiction is becoming an epidemic. I'm not sure if you're in the UK; but, that's the origin of the archived post I wrote:
It seems the promotions are even attempting to 'derail' the retirement plans of otherwise rational people:
Lastly, it sounds like you could talk to a professional...
When you're ready, key Gambler's Anonymous in your search engine.
Help is available. Who knows, on the other side of this may be your next job as a counselor to crypto addicts.
Best regards.
Peace.