Okay that is just flat out hilarious. Both the original news story that prompted this piece, and the post itself. The real world is indeed stranger than fiction. Thanks for sharing this one! I awarded my "Badge of Originality" and the post will get the @humanbot vote trail, which should end up over $2.
BTW I forgot to ask, are you dropping links by here in part because you are interested in becoming a Curie curator? Of course I welcome everyone to drop by links here regardless, but looking at this piece through the Curie lens IMO it is probably a little short and the original news story would need to be sourced. I actually think the writing is exceptionally funny and the quality of the writing is quite good. Typically when writing is the primary device of a post (e.g. the post does not contain exceptional original art, photography, music, etc.), you don't often see posts of this length or shorter getting upvoted through Curie. I would think it was a risky submission primarily because of this reason (as well as citing the source for the news story, but that isn't that big a deal here as the bulk of the post is original fiction).
I have added this poster to my "Curie Follow" query and will not be surprised in the slightest if he ends up posting something that I can submit to Curie. Thanks for this submission here!
Cheers - Carl