I was about to leave...
Well, I was about to leave town on Monday morning and I had just finished up replying to a few comments on the Daily Dose. All of my bags were loaded in my truck and I came back inside to get a refill of my coffee cup and the wife was on her phone with one of ladies from church. So I waited just a minute and she sees I am waiting to tell her something so she tells the woman on the other end of line, “I’ll call you right back, Sult is fixing to leave town for the week and needs to tell me something, so I’ll call you right back and tell you the story about the naked man.”
Story? Naked man? Hmmm....
Story? Naked man? Hmmm, “just who is this naked man and just what is the story?” is what I am thinking at that point.
So I asked the question, “Hey, this naked man story you are fixing to tell doesn’t involve me does it?” Her reply was, “No, it is about the naked man at the church on Friday night.” Well, needless to say I stopped right there at the kitchen table and pulled out my chair, “care to tell me about this?”
I was dog tired...
As most of you know, I was dog tired Friday night, in fact I fell asleep writing the Daily Dose for Saturday that Friday night on the couch. Well, it was quite around the house Friday because only Blondie and I were there; the others had volunteered to work a fund raiser at the church that evening. The fund raiser was basically a kid sitting service so parents could drop their kids off and leave them until 11:00 PM so the parents could have a “date night out” without having to hire a regular baby sitter.
A man walks in...
It turns out that just as the doors were opening for kids to start coming at 6:30 PM a man walks into the gymnasium where the event was being held and walks right out to the middle of the gym floor. He looks around, and then decides to take of all his clothes and just drops them in a pile on the floor and the waves his hand and walks out. This guy was buck ass naked and needless to say the ladies who were there were in shock, or at least they claimed to be.
Hadn't got there yet...
My wife and kids hadn’t got there yet; they were pulling in the parking lot as this guy was evidently driving out. By the time my family got to the entry door it was locked up tight. They tapped on the glass window of the door and the lady in charge of the event came and opened it and let them in, and locked the door back.
Did you see...
According to my wife, the lady in charge was asking, “Did you see him? Did you see him? “ and my wife asked “see who?” The reply was, “The NAKED MAN!!!!” . The lady was pretty freaked out, I don’t know if this lady was freaked out by what had happened or by what exactly she saw; but my wife said she was shaking pretty hard.
The obvious thing...
The obvious thing to do in this case was to call 911 and report the incident, so that is what they did. The lady in charge made the call but my wife was in ear shot and heard the conversation; only the side of it though that the lady was speaking, so she couldn’t hear the questions being asked.
So here is kind of how it went, I will “italicize” what I think the 911 operator was asking based on the answers the lady was giving, so play along.
911 operator: “911 operator, what is your emergency?”
Lady in charge: “I would like to report a naked man.”
911 operator: “Does he appear injured, do you need an ambulance?”
Lady in charge: “No he doesn’t appear injured; we need a sheriff out here.”
911 operator: “can you give me the man’s name?”
Lady in charge: “I don’t know the man’s name.”
911 operator: “can you describe the man for me?”
Lady in charge : “he’s white guy in his 30’s or 40’s and he came in here and took his clothes off and walked out”
911 operator: “so he’s naked, but he’s not there?”
Lady in charge: “ he’s not here, he left and yes he’s NAKED!!!”
911 operator : “so why do you need a sheriff?”
Lady in charge: “so we can have a report filed, we scared.”
911 operator: “if he is not there and he left; there is nothing to be scared of.”
Lady in charge: “can you just please send the sheriff or a constable?”
911 operator: “Mam, we just can’t send officers out to make a report if the man isn’t there; there is nothing that can be done.”
Lady in charge: “Are you kidding me?” “You can’t be serious?”
911 operator : “If he comes back you can call us and we’ll send an officer out to investigate it, other than that; you will have to go into the sheriff office or the constable office if you want to file a report.” “Good bye.”
Click.
Only the lady in charge answers are known for sure since those are what the wife heard; but the operator questions have to be at least in the ball park from what the replies were to the 911 operator. My wife says that the last comment from the 911 operator is correct since the lady in charge said that was what the operator said; she prefaced the remark with, “Can you believe this, she said “if he comes back… “
You were asleep...
So my question to the wife was, “why am I just now hearing about this?” to which I got, “you were asleep when we came in.” Well yes, I was asleep but I haven’t been asleep all the way through the weekend. The way I see it, if it is a good enough story to tell Jennifer than it should have been a good enough story to tell me, like maybe sometime on Saturday or even on Sunday. I may have to give up the boycott and start volunteering just to know what the hell is going on around that church since I can’t rely on them to tell me.
Pretty lame excuse...
I will say that is some pretty lame excuse on the part of the 911 operator, just because the guy wasn’t standing there naked so they could arrest him they wouldn’t send an officer out to investigate. The church has all sorts of security cameras and indecent exposure is a crime.
Try taking a leak...
Try taking a leak on the side of the road just outside of Diboll, Texas at three in the morning when no one is around, except the highway patrol, if you think indecent exposure isn’t a crime. That will get you a night in jail plus a court appearance and a fine of a few hundred bucks. Now days that might even get you a “sex offender” label if you did it today, but not back in the late 70’s.
The doors were locked...
Nut job or tripping...
Needless to say, the guy must have been a nut job or really tripping on something. I am disappointed in the law enforcement for not coming out and at least trying to look for some footage that would have shown the man getting out of or into his car. I don’t believe this was some kind of a prank; the guy was just too old for that, if he was in his teens or twenties, maybe a prank. This guy has serious issues in my book and so does 911.
Plenty of law enforcement...
I am also a little...
I am also a little disappointed in my wife in this situation too, not because she didn’t tell me either. In the grand scheme of things, I not knowing any earlier doesn't make a difference. The reason I am disappointed is that she has the cell phone number for the constable of our precinct in her cell phone, and I don’t mean someone that works for the constable office, I mean the guy that ran for the office of constable and was elected by the people of our area. She should have got him on the phone and given him an earful.
She and Blondie witnessed...
She came into possession of that cell phone number because she and Blondie witnessed a drone flying over her cousin’s place just about dusk one evening while he was out on tour singing with his large band. So she called and left her cousin a message that night and he called back later when he was done performing. She gave him the story of what she and Blondie had seen. The next day she got a call from the constable himself wanting to know all the details and he said if she ever saw the drone again flying over her cousin’s place to call him directly, his number displayed private on the call but he gave it to her. He then also sent her a text to confirm so he knew she had it right and he had her number right.
Three nights straight...
I will also tell you that for three nights straight after that drone sighting, there were constable cars working the area left and right, up and down the road until well after dark looking to see if that drone was making any other flights over her cousin’s property. So she could very well have whipped out her cell phone and made a call, he might not have showed up, but I would wager that one of his patrol officers would have. I need to remind her of that in morning, since she doesn’t read the Daily Dose herself.
When you have...
When you have a direct line and a connection, use it; I know I damn sure would have. By the way, she won’t give me that number or I should say, she hasn’t offered it to me and I haven’t asked her for it either.
Note to self; borrow Mrs. Papper’s phone to take a picture when you get back home on Friday.
Until next time,
@sultnpapper
Note: Thanks for reading the Daily Dose.
Photo Credits : All photos are the property of @sultnpapper.
I was just thinking the US must have a very liberal attitude to nudity until I read the "Try taking a leak" paragraph. A man shedding all this clothes in a gymnasium about to be full of children should certainly be taken seriously!
On the one hand there are people who want the freedom to go naked, and I kind of support that idea, though I wouldn't want to do it myself! Especially in the chilly climate where I live! There is a man in the UK known as "The Naked Rambler" who used to wander the hills wearing nothing but socks and hiking boots. He managed to get himself arrested many times. But he seems to be harmless.
Removing all your clothes in a public place is quite different. I saw a guy doing this once when I was walking home. I called the police when I got home (this was in the days before cellphones) and they took it very seriously, and even offered me counselling (which I didn't need!).
Here there isn't much toleration for nudity as one might expect, you won't find it unless you happen to belong to nudist club which are usually private and of the beaten path out from the cities.
Nude beaches are very few and far between and usually more fiction than fact.
There is a guy in Austin that rides a bike around the town nearly naked, he has a little "G"string he wears but his junk isn't hidden, that's for sure. I don't know that the cops mess with him but he gets plenty of publicity from the radio talking about him when people see him riding and start calling the talk show to describe what they saw.
The mind boggles! Oh dear.
My buddy Gunny got a 'public indecency' ticket in 1969. We stopped at a state gravel pit to relieve the pressure and Gunny was on the side of the car that the police were also on. Which is why I didn't get a ticket, apparently just a puddle wasn't enough evidence that I had my stuff out. I think it cost him $12 and a trip to the local Justice of the Peace. The cops and the JP had a good giggle and that was that. Until about 30 years later when he got a letter from the state regarding his 'sex offender' status. It cost him some time and maybe a little money but he got that taken care of.
Anyway... I'd be really disappointed at 911 too. Obviously the Sheriff isn't up for re election this year. It is pretty disgusting behavior, just generally speaking. I don't mind naked even a little, but generally with a consenting adult or dog as the witnesses. I'm guessing none of the church folk consented.
You already know, but that 'business model' of the police as a simple revenue producing arm of government really gets me just guzbucking angry. No money in a no longer available naked man? No cops.
I do know how to handle that. I've had a sort of like that conversation with 911. I told the lady that they didn't have to worry if the guy came back I'd just shoot him. This call was for his protection not mine. I had 3 cars at my place in 2 minutes.
Urrgghh. Life goes on. It isn't always pretty, but it always goes on.
Yep, to the 911, police business model, and consenting adults and probably should clarify that it wasn't me that got the PI charge it was my friend named Mike, he was a hot-shot truck driver hauling a small load of lumber that needed to be delivered at 7:00 AM the next morning to a job site, needless to say, that didn't get there on time. I had to take him some money to pay his bail to get out.
He thought about trying to fight the charge, he said he was going to make the cop describe his penis in court, size, girth and such since the cop seems to think he saw him and it was indecent.
He didn't though, I need to ask him if he ever got a notice like Gunny later, I am sure if he had, he would have said something, we are still good friends and I see him at least a couple times a month when I am up in Austin.
I like your method and logic on getting the cops to show up. That is surely a way to get their attention, they looked at it as a possible two for one on the business model.
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I fully understand why mrs Papper has not given you that number! I'm just like her in that regard as my husband is a little like the mr Papper I've come to know here; some things are best left unsaid :):)
Your husband is a great man and I know that from what I have come to know. Mrs. Papper knows I would use it if I had it, but I have a friend who is a detective in the constable's office so if I need something I just call him, he is quick to help me and he doesn't get many calls from me asking for anything, I don't abuse it.
He is one in a million, thank you for that mr Papper!
I'm sure you would not abuse that connection!
I don't know how is it at your place but in Croatia you really do have to be very very careful when peeing outside. If the police catches you and you are around school or kindergarten, the sex offender is the label you get, and a punishment that follows. You do not even have to see the school or know that it is there. The operator seems crazy, maybe if they mentioned there were children there, he might have responded differently but still, he should have sent someone there.
If you are kid under 5 you can pee all you want outside and no one seems to care, but once you head off to school then you are in big trouble if you decide to do it.
I don't know that it ever came up about children there, when I get back I will ask my wife some questions about it and she will have had more time to hear things from others that were there before she and the kids got there that night, I wonder if anyone thought to grab their phone and start filming. People seem to always have their phone handy when stuff like that happens.
When I was a kid, I was walking down the street with a friend and a man exposed himself to us from his car. Honestly, I didn't really notice, but my friend did. As you can imagine, our parents were all over the place looking for him. Never found him, but the authorities were notified.
Another time, I went to the bathroom at our local country club. I was very young, under 10 years old, and a man said something to me that was sexual. I immediately went to my father who gathered up my brothers and went looking for the man. They found him, and they had to control my father to not hit him with a tennis racket. My dad made it very clear that you do not say those things to little girls, then had my brother call the police before he hurt the man. There was a big investigation, but they could not press charges because I was too young to reliably testify. I do think the matter was handled quite well, from what I can remember. I only hope the man never did it or again. Hopefully, me telling prevented him from doing something worse than talk to another little girl.
Sounds like you attract creepy old men and have for a long time, hmmmm.
Wait a minute, I might just be one of those, no just old; but starting to creak a little when I move around.
You may be creaky, but I would never call you creepy! <3
Well that really takes the cake...what would compel some crazy person to walk into a chuch, take his clothes off and leave. Really weird. I have worked those parent night out events before, that would scare everyone to death. I really got a chuckle envisioning the lady with the gloves and a plastic bag. ...wonder if he attends the church? What a story @sultnpapper!
The word I got was nobody recognized him, with or without his clothes on so I doubt he goes to church there. Pretty bazaar behavior, I think what must have compelled him was him being crazy and that is why the sheriff or constable's office should have at least come and taken a report.
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TrufflePigYour Constabulary sounds like ours, inefficient, lazy and overpaid (and they get paid peanuts here). If we have a problem, we are left to fend for ourselves, unless of course, it is a traffic violation or something that they can get a huge bribe for.
I have been known to take action before really thinking about the consequences. I probably would have tackled the guy and held him until the police arrived. My hubby used to say I walked where angels feared to tread. It was a part of my job and once you have the training you never forget...
I need to ask my wife if any men were there, if there were and they didn't do anything that would be disturbing and also disturbing that they didn't have any security people for that event too. It wasn't advertised to the community, just to the congregation so he may have just seen all the cars and decided to "drop" in.
Obviously, he is not a member of the congregation but could he be someone with a vendetta towards one of the people there? Wanting to discredit the organization.
.. a St. Francis emulator?
that was a fun one. kids and streakers, omissions and inept systems all wrapped up with some good ol fashion smart phone espionage intentions.
Yes, kind of cover a bunch of stuff on this Daily Dose, a lot which was uncovered too.
This is ridiculous! I'm probably not going to say it grammatically correct as English is not my first language, but in Slovak we say that: They use double measures. Trying taking a leak will get you in a jail BUT a naked man in the church is ok just because he is not there anymore? That is just not right. They should have come and check the situation at least. You never know if he wasn't hiding somewhere nearby the church.
And don't be so harsh on your wife :) I guess she was shocked as well. Yes, she didn't see the guy but I can imagine she couldn't grasp what happened as well. I think it takes some time to realize that it really is true :)
ha! sir sultnpapper! what kind of nut cases to ya'll have down there? lol. It wasn't funny but to see the reaction of the women's faces would have been funny!
what would you have done if you were there?
Knocked him on his ass and then sat on him. What else would there be to do?