Rookie in steemit! And hey today is my birthday or no birthday

Hi my name is Amen Oris Aka Dj Toxiq. I’m a music producer and Disc Jockey based in Houston, Texas. Very new to steemit but I will basically be blogging by life as struggling artiste, music producer, disc jockey, a newbie in the crypto currency world, how I juggle these and a job I hate just to pay the bills every other thing that excites me.
We all know the saying “it’s never easy”
Today is my birthday but honestly I’m not excited about it, or anything else all I wanted to do was stay home, sleep and watch Netflix.
I figured...no money in my wallet, no boyfriend that I care about( yes I may have a couple of boys who feel like I’m in a relationship with them ) but with who’s permission? I never granted that.
I feel this emptiness inside like Omarion’s hit track with timberland ICE BOX where my HEART used to be. I pretend smile and fake laughter these days...damn I miss the old me!!
Now Everyday there’s this question in my head like a song song What happened to the once cheerful girl, free girl, go getter?...it’s this a phase? Do people go through this too?

Am I the only one in this? Is it worth stressing over? Yes I know many people go through worse but this is my story and this may or may not be worse!
As I sit with my family in this Chinese restaurant I forget for a bit that I’m not a big fan of birthdays anymore.