(Without defending any such behaviour as it is heinous and there is no excuse) What if they mistake their desire as 'care' and perhaps early on it is just that but it manifests over time and reveals what it truly is. There are all kinds of ways to exert power of others, this must be one of the worst.
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It's certainly possible. I think we're all capable of extraordinary good and and complete depravity. I think once you cross the line into something dark I imagine your mind tries to justify what has happened, and you lie to yourself about what's going on. Maybe this kind of person tries to convince themselves that they're in love and nobody's getting hurt. They have to believe their own lies and keep spinning new ones.