Your past doesn't have to define your future @inquiringtimes. That is so true. And, your past may not be as bad as you think it was. It's all a question of perspective. When you feel shit it will look worse. When you feel better it won't look as bad.
I truly believe that you did the best you could with what you knew/thought at the time and will continue to do so.
Try and live one day at a time. Try and draw comfort from having a family that loves you without that having to mean that you need to do something different.
They obviously see something lovable in you and, while you may not be able to see that yourself, just trusting their judgement can bring it's own comfort.
I wish you all the best with whatever you choose to do now. 💙