I'm still haunted by one person in particular who ended it all. For myself I want to but I can also detach myself and see things metaphorically. Sometimes I want to kill myself means I want to kill my past self and start again. I want to kill my personality and attachments. Sometimes I really want to die means I really want to live. The best times in life are without a fear of death. It is a bit paradoxical at times.
Yeah, there was a neighbour of mine named James who ended it too. Right before then I saw him and he was really enthusiastic about starting a surfing brand and he'd composed the logos and everything and he was telling me what he was going to do. And then he was gone. :(