Well said @lukestokes. I lost a very dear uncle in 2006. He was in the military when he was younger. A very good, strong, disciplined and principled man. When he was diagnosed with an aggressive colon cancer, the docs refused to perform surgery because of his advanced age. In the last few days, he was in so much pain, and yet so dignified about it, I remember just sitting next to him for long hours, playing some soothing instrumental healing music and holding his hands and stroking his palms. No talk. No anything. But I'm sure he understood how much I loved him. I just sat with him in the pain... to use your words.
I hope @schattenjaeger finds his way around this. And the comments from the community here prove to be therapeutic.