They say “ignorance is bliss” but I think not knowing makes one most unsettled. Assumption can deteriorate the bravest of souls. It’s maddening wondering if it is or isn’t. Self-diagnosis is easier, comforting and affords a fake sense of tranquility until ignorance defeats you. You thought it wasn’t but it really is and you didn’t know to prevent the consequences of reality.
Early detection can save a life. An opportunity many miss because they thought they were strong enough, looked well enough, was blessed enough, did enough good, privileged enough and maybe even allowed themselves to feel invincible. It can happen to anyone except me... A thought you never disclose. Your guts never lie so you pretend to not hear.
Then the symptoms appear and you are diligent in linking the symptoms to every non- lethal sickness that doesn’t require a check-up, just a homemade remedy, a purge, some Chinese medicine, bush tea, coconut water and some sleep. You believe that’s the fix you need. You couldn’t, shouldn’t, God dare wouldn’t...after all you’ve worked for and all you’ve done, you deserve a clock that keeps ticking.
But, who ultimately determines the shuffle of this mortal coil? We don’t. Do we? Everyday a baby dies and the healthiest men fall...We can only do the best we can do to continue the course of days...So much so that we don’t even want the nightfall. But, let’s not forget that life is a cycle and when we are called to whatever exists beyond our Earthly days, we’ll be brave if not for ourselves then for the people we love.