Your cringe-worthy situation has touched upon some raw nerves for me. :c/
We live in a World where honesty is often punished whenever the state is remotely involved.
Then we wonder why dishonesty is so rife.
Is it because we are genetically backwards as a species...?
Or is it because moronic power-consolidating power structures turn us against each other at every opportunity and pressure us to form generations of liars? ¬_¬
Completely agree with your logic. EU900 for one person shouldn't penalize another person. I wonder if you can cancel the process and start anew with a blank slate...
I wonder what would happen if you 'both' went to Holland? Or even another nation? Look into your options.
Then mention casually to the authorities screwing you over that you hope that they don't mind full-page spreads in the newspapers exposing Swedish taxpayer's taxes at work.
That is one path... Another is to go quietly.
After all... Sweden is also a nation that breaks families and separates children from their parents for the crime of homeschooling...