What should you avoid saying to someone who is depressed?

Depression is a serious and often debilitating mental health condition that affects millions of people around the world. It can cause a wide range of symptoms, including persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of energy or motivation. It can also lead to problems with sleep, appetite, and concentration.

If you know someone who is struggling with depression, it can be difficult to know how to support them. While you may want to help, it's important to be mindful of what you say and do, as certain words and actions can have a negative impact on someone who is already feeling low.

img

"Just snap out of it."
It's not uncommon for people to tell those struggling with depression to "just snap out of it" or "cheer up." However, this kind of statement is not only unhelpful, but it's also dismissive and invalidating. Depression is not something that can be easily "snapped out of," and telling someone to simply "cheer up" implies that they are choosing to feel depressed, which is not the case.

"It's all in your head."
Depression is not a figment of someone's imagination or a choice they are making. It is a real and serious medical condition that can have a wide range of physical, emotional, and psychological symptoms. Telling someone that their depression is "all in their head" suggests that they are making it up or exaggerating their symptoms, which can be hurtful and stigmatizing.

"You have no reason to be depressed."
It's not uncommon for people to try to find the "reason" for someone's depression, as if there needs to be a specific trigger for the condition. However, depression can occur for a variety of reasons, and it's not always possible to pinpoint a specific cause. Telling someone that they have no reason to be depressed implies that they are somehow responsible for their own suffering and that they could simply choose to feel better if they wanted to.

"You should just exercise/eat better/meditate/etc."
While it's true that lifestyle habits such as exercise, nutrition, and stress management can be helpful for managing depression, they are not a cure-all. Telling someone with depression to simply "exercise more" or "eat better" suggests that their condition is solely due to their own choices and ignores the complex underlying causes of depression. It's important to recognize that depression is a serious medical condition that often requires professional treatment, such as therapy or medication.

"You're being negative/selfish/lazy."
Depression can distort someone's thoughts and beliefs, leading them to see the world in a more negative light. Telling someone that they are being "negative," "selfish," or "lazy" because of their depression only serves to further stigmatize and shame them. It's important to remember that someone's feelings and behaviors are a result of their condition, not a choice they are making.

"I know exactly how you feel."
While you may mean well when you try to relate to someone's experiences with depression, it's important to recognize that everyone's experiences are different. Telling someone that you know exactly how they feel can be dismissive and minimize their unique struggles. Instead, try saying something like "I'm sorry you're going through this. Is there anything I can do to help?" This communicates your support and willingness to listen without trying to assume that you fully understand their experience.