depression--
the dark shadow
the force that squeezes my mind
the vice that crushes my spirit
joy--
the bright light
the spirit that heals my mind
the goodness that loves my spirit
~@countrygirl
Being in Sarasota has always refreshed me. My mood was low when I landed and I wondered if I had made a mistake in travelling.
I picked up my car rental, slid in behind the wheel and started the engine. The radio came on immediately and a very familiar song was playing, Praise You in this Storm. I sat and cried as I listened to the words wash over me. I was acutely aware of God’s presence.
I believe He orchestrated that moment. He had someone cue up a Christian radio station. He knew I was going to have that car and He knew the time. He did that for me because He loves me and knew I needed to be reminded I was loved and to continue to look to Him despite my pain.
I don't ask why anymore.
Everybody hurts.
Everybody has something that is difficult to live with.
I have depression. I am me and God loves me the way I am and is working out things for my good. I am not in control of what that might look like or how it will turn out.
I am still going to be anxious at times, feel crushed at times, doubt God's goodness at times and not want to go on.
I also know that God will be with me in those times.
I’ll praise Him in the storm.
poem, story and photo by
without suffering we would never be able to appreciate our blessings. God bless you.
That is very true. Without drought we'd not appreciate rain. Without sickness, health. It's all true.
The way that you've used two stanzas to contrast happiness and depression is a powerful way to approach the topic, and I think you have something that can become an incredible poem. The framework is already done. Now it's time for the cleanup.
The biggest issue with this poem is the use of cliche language. Depression has been called a dark shadow more times than I can count, so it's important that you find another way to frame it. The same goes for the phrase "crushes my spirit." The second stanza's use of spirit twice is underwhelming and also needs to be addressed. There's obviously a christian theme under this piece, so I think there's a simple fix.
Use pieces of the bible to describe depression and joy. Obviously, depression will include darker references (rapture, judgement, plague, etc) and joy will be positive (miracle, rewards of faith, etc). For example
depression--
the trumpet that crumbles me like the walls of Jericho
joy--
the healing touch...
Obviously you can do better, but these examples should get my point across. If you're going to write poetry influenced by the Bible, use it to your full advantage. The Bible is easily one of the most familiar books, and many of the metaphors can be used here to your advantage.
Hope this helps!
Thank you for your detailed input!
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I'm glad you enjoy my posts. Thanks for stopping by to read them. I appreciate that.
Great post and well said!!!
Than you @cognoscere. Thank you very much.
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Depression is a very hard thing to live with. There are always brighter moments ahead. I'm happy you felt better and that things just clicked in that moment for you. Life is like that a lot if we just paid attention to the small things. Bless you and smile : )
Aw, thanks @seareader1. It's like any sickness or burden really. I feel good at times and others not so good. It's a chronic ailment. I know what to do to take care of myself now. And that's the good part.
I am sorry to hear this. However, I also like to try to help things. Many, many people living in the north have very low vitamin D levels due to the low levels of sunlight especially in the winter. You may want to have your doc check this with a easy blood draw.
I did!! Funny you mention it. I take VitaminD everyday. My levels were low. Food wise, salmon and blueberries are also on the menu. The omegas are supposed to help as are the anti something or others in the blueberries.
Depression is genetic unfortunately, at least in my family. But it makes me more compassionate so that's a good thing.
Which is why I love Florida so much. I love walking the beach and eating fresh fruits and fish and watching the sunrise and set. The smells and feel of the ocean (gulf) breeze is glorious. I'll have to be visiting soon. Probably for Christmas this year - at least that's what I am hoping for.
Oh very good. Sometimes I hate to mention things because you never know if the person will think Im a nutter LOL. I felt it was worth the risk :)
I could use a little beach walking right about know. I might even get out the old metal detector and hope to find a ring or two :) Yes I love the smell of the ocean. To me it is invigorating. It is hard to express that to someone that has never experienced it. I used to have a grandfather there so I went often as a child. Sadly I havent been there for ages. All of my neighbors go down for the winters. I think that would be nice.
A nutter!! lol....haven't heard that one in ages. You can mention things like that with me, it's not like we've never spoken on here....you know?
A metal detector - now that's something I've always wanted to do....ya ....I think I'll buy one for the summer with all this crazy money I'm making :)
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stop
O.k. My apologies for wanting to reward you.
Nothing ever happens by chance, It has all been predestined by God. I've never doubted him.
As you've shared this with us to honor his name, watch out for more lifting ups and miracles....
I will watch for more miracles and moments with God. Thank you for saying that - it's a great reminder.
I believe that coincidence does not exist. It's not a coincidence that that music was plaided on the radio. It's God's way to help people who have their trust in him. I am so sorry to hear that you suffer from depression, but I know from reading your story that you know that God will always love you and I know he will send people to stand next to you.
Thanks for such a thoughtful reply @clio. I know you understand truly. I am the same re coincidence. I don't believe in it. Everything happens for such a time as it does.
Amen!!! GOD is faithful and He will never leave or forsake us through the storms!
That's right. :)
I love this. My mom always says that God is in the coincidences.
Oh that's a great way of looking at coincidences.....love it!