That all sounds very familiar in a lot of ways, I can relate to the fact that it may be damaging to try to have a relationship with a father who is less than a positive influence in your life, generally any previous attempts I have had with my father to make things better have ended up in me getting more and more damaged, he is now a distant figure, we have issues that I doubt inside will ever be resolved now, at very best perhaps more level of understanding about reasons could be brought about, but as far as the overall things go the damage has been done, it always amazes me when parents make little effort and the most effort comes from the child, someone possibly didn't tell them what the fundamental basics of being a parent actually is, they seemed to miss that lesson and then never learn it afterwards either. :-(
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Look at how his parents were toward him and you may get some answers. Patterns tend to run in families.