I came from a not so fortunate family, there is only sticks not carrot. We only get scolding but never a praise. Growing in such event really would affect ones outcome, as in my case I grew up with a depression and pessimistic mind. I remember being angry and full of hatred towards anything or anyone I make contact with. I also remember the days where I feel like doing nothing and all I wanna do just sit there,on my bed and not wanting to live(and at times feels like wanna die).
The problem with depression is that it takes away all your logical thinking capabilities and you won't ran out of a way to turn anything into a negative view. What's worse is that they(society) are not trained to handle a depressed person, most of the time their good intention ended up making it worse. Only a fellow soul who had been trough it might able to enlighten the pain they suffering.
I remember telling bout how I feel and got shut off brutally. The common response would be like "you're thinking too much/ It's nothing", this is a big no for the depressed person. Instead you might try this "I am here for you/ Anything I could help/ etc". The worst respond would be(in my opinion) "go pray". Like hey, do you ask a person with other sickness like diabetes go pray to fix the issue? Mental sickness is legit and exist, just because one person not as religious doesn't mean they are more likely to get mental sickness.
Just remember that you are there to listen and moral support. It most likely won't be an easy task for the listener because the depressed person most likely won't able to express what they want or feel anymore(depends on the severity). After I opened up bout my depression to my close circle of friend then only they are more understanding on the events where I just suddenly shut off everyone from my life and went missing in action for days,or weeks even months. In my case usually during these periods everything that seems normal to common people could be very dreadful and frightening to us(people with depression). I am lucky to have the most sanguine and warm person to talk to during my depression and how I get to cry with no one judging, it's sick that we judge those who cry during hard times when it is actually healthy to do so. What's wrong with crying? It's a sign that we strong enough to show our emotion. I remember there is one time where I was depressed and I am physically sick(body aching and whatnot),and this is because I couldn't find anyone that I could talk about the problem with(it's complicated story).
To sum this up, just try to listen more to your depressed friend(s) and partners. Look out for signs of depression. Show some love to them, I find it hilarious that we express hates more openly than we express love. Good luck!
picture courtesy of google
Pills help a lot :)
Reminds me of the song. lol You might want to sign up for @dustsweeper FYI.
Hahahahha bulls eye ... exactly
You are displaying qualities of the wounded healer, those that have been afflicted and healed are the best guides for others going through similar affliction, thank you brother.
Came to my mind when I read this: "What's worse is that they(society) are not trained to handle a depressed person, most of the time their good intention ended up making it worse. Only a fellow soul who had been trough it might able to enlighten the pain they suffering."
Thanks for sharing this @grimjaw. And yes, I had this question too in my mind: why the hell is sadness so unaccepted?
It's like that everyone pretends to be happy at all times... As if it would be "human" to always feel GREAT. And yet, some how, we learn that "happiness" and joy is good, and sadness, grief, anger, frustration is something bad... who are we to judge emotions anyways...?
sounds like you've been trough it! I hope for the best for you!
Wishing you the best brother!
as another thought - non related to your article.. it just came to me now: aren't we all go through "depression" at times unless we arent totally numb to all our feelings?
stay strong !
I hear you Brother, what I find helps is to exercise.
Sounds a lot like my life.
I’m sure pretty a lot people could relate, maybe they just too shy to admit
Self Help Tony Robbins and the like are amazing at changing attitudes and lifestyles as well as outlooks. Psylocybin does this as well. Both are key as to who you surround yourself with.
I am surrounding myself with great minds now :)
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I'm depressed right now. Can watching comedy movie help me?
Feeling depressed can be made better with doing something you enjoy or taking your mind off of the mood. If your depression is ongoing then seek professionaal help if possible.
I've learned to work on each major issue. Depression seems to be a symptom of the overload. The depression will slowly but noticeably be reduced as problems are addressed.
Examples: For years I had stopped working out, I was drinking heavily for a couple years, I was overspending, and I was spending too much time with toxic people. Each small act towards the goal is in fact the goal itself. Each small start is the grand moment of change. I still feel depressed sometimes but not as overwhelmingly so.
It seems that once I address the situations that are the main contributors to my depression, I can see more clearly what is causing this response in me from life. I suspect as you said that it as a lot to do with upbringing. I wish I was closer to my siblings but the way we were raised makes it difficult.
One thing I have realized is that sadness seems associated with intelligence. It's smart to be happy of course, but avoiding sadness isn't
It does associated with intelligence in my opinion but I may sound narcissistic if I write it that way. Tho most of my friends disagree bout how intelligence may affect depression. It's either I am not as smart as I think or they are too dumb to see. But as a logical reason I might have to agree with it, if you look it from other side, there is so little of people with above average IQ(I am not sure of the numbers) thus making it hard to find someone who have the same vision, and witty minds :)
Sometimes real, clinical depression can only be helped by professionals. Talking to someone might help short term but without fixing the underlying problem it will keep coming back.
Often there is a chemical imbalance that will not correct itself without medication. If you feel like you are suffering from chronic depression, contact a professional. Time is too precious to not take care of yourself.
I heard about that chemical imbalance but what exactly is that chemical that causing it?
Low seratonin levels have been linked to depression for a long time, but it isn't as simple as that. A lot of research shows that damaged neural pathways are a main symptom behind clinical depression. This means that behaviorial therapy can lessen the effects of depression.
As you can imagine it is very complex and nothing is certain-- we're talking about the human brain here.
The worst part of all of this is that really good therapists are expensive and probably harder to find than doctors that just want to put you on meds.
If you have depression (my mom and sister are both diagnosed and my mom is bipolar as well) do yourself a favor and see someone now. Don't let life kick you in the balls for 10 more years before you decide to help yourself.
Although I never had severe depression, I have known sadness for extended periods of time. I found a solution in meditation. Meditation, if practiced enough, can put an end to repetitive thinking of any kind. One learns to empty out the mind and not think at all, just be. The results did not come quickly; it took years to regulate my mind and learn to evacuate negative experiences. But in the long run, it worked for me.
yeah I noticed that growing old makes the mind more mellow and calm, perhaps that's one of the factor too?