Thanks, depression. I knew isolating myself and pushing everyone away was unhealthy and unhelpful, and yet I did it anyway because I felt I didn't have a choice. Or did i ? Now that I put myself in this position, even my small group of friends that "understand what I'm dealing with" or know what's going on have stopped inviting me to things entirely, and I know it's really not their fault, but it still hurts when I see the pictures or hear about it in passing. I know I can't expect people to still invite me to things when I always decline, especially now when the days that I feel up to being around other people are few and far between. The (anti)social aspect of depression is such a hard cycle to break out of.
It definitely is. I've been there myself, and spent several years in that rut- anxiety to boot.
The only thing that helped me was discovering longecity (forums) and the nootropics reddit.
These things helped me build the bdnf to develop new habits and ways of thinking- coupled with meditation and diet changes. You have to just realize that getting better will take you changing habits that are engrained in you one thing at a time.
Posture this week, voice the next. Diet the following week, and building new habits, like reading a book a week, the next. Push yourself and you'll realize that depression was a blessing in disguise- it made you discover a new and more powerful you from the rock bottom.
Cheers, and much love your way bro. Things will get better if you hold hold on. Better than ever and much more.