Writing this down is important work .Maybe someone will read this post and feel less alone in their own depression realising there's others out there who feel it too. It's so unfair that a bright, proactive person like yourself has to go through this. However, as i'm sure you know, depression comes and goes on different levels. You're feeling it bad right now, but it won't be so intense forever. Sometime round the corner things will feel different. Go with the feelings. You're a good writer, maybe you can write it all out for now.
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