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RE: Descriptions on the Spot: "Mercurial"

Nice! I love how the writing style stuck with the theme as well. It started off slow, got kicked up to high gear, fluctuated and then downshifted at the end. I don't know if that was intentional. I liked the sweeping action sequence in particular. The length of the story doesn't really afford it to flesh out the characters, but you did a good job defining the characters' traits.

How long did it take you to write this? Were the characters created only for this short story or are they recurring characters in your mind?

I actually write depending on the mood as well. When it's dreary, I want the readers to feel bored, and when it's action-packed, I want the readers' hearts racing. You get the picture.

Tiny nitpick though, and I don't mean to be that guy, but wouldn't it be more correct if foreign language be emphasized (or italicized). Like say "Shut up, puta" should be "Shut up, puta". I don't know if it's conventional, or if anybody else feels that way, but I guess it helps to make the foreign words pop. Terrible choice of phrase, I know, I'll shut up now. I just wanted to help for future posts. Feel free to nitpick mine as well.

Overall, this is a great entry. It gives #descriptionsonthespot a good push.

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I'll answer all your questions:

  1. The characters just came to me while I was writing. When I first started writing, he was going to actually be more like a super hero kind of character who had advanced powers. That died fast.
  2. Took me about an hour? I had to stop mid-way because my bosses told me that one of our big projects was defunded, so that took some time. lol
  3. And yes, you're right ... Italicizing the words might have helped more.

Thanks for reading!

I could imagine it now:

Boss: Hey, you have a minute?
Pseudo: ssh! i'm writing here!
B: Actually, this can't wait. I don't know how to say this but our biggest project was defunded.
P: stops writing Oh, alright then. Let's talk about it. secretly thinking about how the plot ends

In all seriousness, sorry to hear about the project. I'm sure there'll be a better one that takes its place in the future.

When you said superhero, I immediately thought of the Hulk. Mad one minute, calm the next. He'd just be running around nude mid-way a huge battle.