Desteni.org
Just recently really started looking at living words,
I've talked to some people about it and read about it,
I see some of the simple ones, ones that have very easy direct practical living which I'd actually worked on defining and has served me very well, like schedule that's very much a word you practically live.
There's health, which is like an awareness, am I healthy? Maybe I'll try eating this, or doing this for exercise, or drinking more water, try this activity.
Health and schedule then play together when you plan / schedule to exercise.
Communication is a word you live very clearly through speaking that's simple direct, but maybe there's internal too, like internal seeing I haven't spoken to so and so lately I haven't been communicating as much lately, why's that?
Then maybe the body communicates with itself the different organs communicate with each other, it's just not happening on a conscious level.
What things are communicating beneath the surface?
There's how you do things, I do things in a lanky, round about, laid back sort of way, I live the word unfold, In my physical actions I just let things unfold, in my life I live the word unfold just let things unfold.
So that's a summary of some elements I've bounced around with words/living words.
I see that starting with my breathe for me is important because I've been breathing obsessed for years.
Actually another thing would be my relationship to games and media and stuff, but I'm actually managing that using the word schedule where I schedule some exercise and writing for each day and then as long as I'm getting that all done then whatever I do with my free time is whatever, but of course with time I'd like to incorporate more directed living of living word into everything as with anything in my process which the living word itself is something that comes when it is ready not forced, it's coming up right as I need it to within my process another natural unfolding.
So, besides that which is being broached with words already,
It's my obsession with breathing which I want to apply living words too, I really got spun out within my process just breathing and trying to stop everything in my mind and then that's all I ever did and I suppressed a lot of stuff and it was a learning curve but left a mark that I'm always very moved, very stuck in energy, and with the word what I'm seeing what's opening up is that self forgiveness for one is an important part of stopping the mind stopping those parts of separation, but I've been on with that for a year and half, and now I'm seeing this other part is, you stop your mental whatever, and then what?
So the word how I'm seeing it, is the 'then what', because it's like you stop, breathe, everything is quiet, but you need to create, assert yourself, live.
Because with how I've seen it, if you don't assert something new in that place of breathing and forgiveness, something else will creep in, a deeper more prepared part of the mind, ready to get you, that knows you well because it knows you in silence as you know yourself in silence and what can get you and sneak up on you for sure.
So, for me I'm breathing, but then what is that?
'I'm breathing', it's funny because even that can get corrupted, 'I'm breathing', alright, so I put a little force into it, that's the statement 'here I am', 'I'm breathing', but then that force, it's a force, I already was breathing, naturally, and then came in with an attitude and energy and asserted a breathe that was charged up and energetic.
So the point is even just being here breathing without purified living words can be corrupted a lot.
I'm just trouble shooting it all still because I'm just starting to click with the concept, but it all adds up as that last missing piece for me as far as I'm concerned.
Because I could say I have these strings of energy I experience, and lights, and colors and it moves this way and does this and affects me this way,
or, I could just say within word, who am I within all this energy moving about as me, moving myself as energy, I'm frustrated, I'm trapped, I'm stuck, I'm struggling, I'm floundering.
So it'd be easy to think wow I got all this unusual stuff moving within me I must be onto something, but it's not I'm living the words broken, maltreated, ruined, battered, beaten, all by myself from myself, my gift unto me.
With all that said some elements of the living word I'm still bouncing around, one word I'd apply to my situation...
And I have to think about it, or look up a word...
I actually like one of the words I mentioned, battery
I just feel battered up inside, like I'm a battery all charged up, and it's like... Now what?
I'm just all charged up and the energy is breaking down inside, it invokes images of the hydron collider or the atom or some kind of electric Nikola Tesla device.
So with all this energy, I need to ground it, I need to defuse it, I need to wire it into something else.
I'll take that I'm living the word battery, and I cannot stop it,
So I am living the word battery, it's just in a messed up kind of way, so I need to purify this word because I am stuck in it I need to make best of it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge myself up like a battery with absolutely no plan as to how this is process and how this will pan out.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to convince of my own process of becoming a battery without realizing it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret becoming a battery because I didn't realize that's what I was doing I thought I was stopping the mind, but it's not about stopping the mind per see it's about becoming and living something else.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live something else in place of having stopped the mind where alternating currents comes back to batteries and electronic and such.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret living the word battery in such an extreme messed up way throughout my process when that was part of my development and self discovery even if I'd like to have learnt things some other way everybody everyday is doing nothing but learning very hard cruel lessons so it's not so extreme at all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live the word battery where I could have lived the word battery and everything that might have come with it in silence in moving myself without mind or energy trap.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trap myself deeper and deeper within living as a battery though digging deeper and deeper in my mind in trying to cut off my mind instead of just living and letting living be me here silenced creating expanding.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel desperate to transform myself within this word battery all at once where it took years managing and toying with the energy to get me to this point that nothing is just going to change of substance instantly.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take comfort as live the word comfort for just a moment being able to put a label on the beast to know the enemy I have manifested of myself as battery.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how my living of the word battery in each breathe makes me a good catalyst for living words because anything that isn't solid me moving myself will easily trigger how energetic I already am allowing me to trouble shoot effectively within living words.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear toying about with words and fueling up my battery more getting me more battered up then I already am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself within words as a battery where either I'll live the words and it'll be quiet and will support me in my foundation of stillness and calmness or it will get all energetic like a drug or chemical.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about how energetic and messed up I am inside instead of just letting go and riding things out with the golden tickets of self forgiveness and living words combined to just shape myself up without even needing to think about it.
When and as I see myself fearing how messed up I've become as a living battery person, I stop, I breathe, I realize where I see all this energy and experience all this energy is where I can still defuse and purify and forgive before too much physical substantial damage is done, thus, I commit myself to live the word battery as accepting that I've become a supercharged energy battery to guide me that I can't keep walking my process as I have and need to make some proper changes to my approach of process within living word.
I redefine battery as super compounded energy.
I redefine to make a battery as to conceal a ton load of energy into a container,
in this case the energy was the suppression of my mind/mind energy, and the container is my body.
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