This is more like a diary/journal entry for me as I found a recent interaction with a newly connected person very odd. BUT, every new relationship you make with someone online isn’t without its complexities; this is just one example. Please know I’m sincere and genuine, and also..
Okay now that’s out of the way...
I have known of this individual for many months. In fact, in a rare moment for me (as I’m typically observing group talk), the disinfo combined with such significant convictions he was right about something rather important where he was CATEGORICALLY wrong made me step in and correct him. I was armed with enough information on the matter where he quickly deemed me “important” (so silly to think that way IMO), enough so to put his tail between his legs. People recall it as a rather epic event with my supercharged takedown even though it wasn’t my style and I didn’t want accolades, especially here.
Recently, we connected through messaging and it’s been a back and forth like chess, literally. He’s asking sideways questions, buttering me up, attempting to one up me, et. I asked we not play the mental mind fuck game and just be friends; no point in having a winner or loser, I look at him as an equal and while I like competing, I’m just not interested at the moment.
In so many words and after so many messages, he came back with how I was irrelevant to his future and he doesn’t have ego, but pardon the egotistical sounding statements. He asked me not to assume he was depressed as well. Lastly, we had discussed on hierarchies before (it was a contention when I corrected him) and my stance was I don’t believe they generally work because of what tribalism and group identities can do and have proven to do for centuries.
My detailed response:
“If I’m irrelevant to your future why does any conversation with me matter? If I’m irrelevant how do you gain anything? You say ego doesn’t apply to any message yet you say “I might be very egotisticals”. This is all in paragraph # 1.
How does one respond to that? Why spend time responding when you’ve made it indirectly clear I don’t matter. How can one so confidently say another will be irrelevant to another’s future? Perhaps you could have learned something from me, perhaps not. I was open to learning from you. Isn’t that what it’s really all about? Do you enter every relationship this way?
Every experience and every connection brings a new perspective to me, positive or negative, and the way I deal with it shapes my character.
Respectfully, I stated I believe others to be equal. Your first paragraph completely dismisses that by saying I’m irrelevant. I’m not sensitive by nature (and certainly not in this case) and can appreciate directness; I don’t view it as you being an asshole. But, I sense (correct or not) your attempting to get a reaction out of me.
Depressed? Why would I think that? I go to the source. I have no pre-judgement about your mental state - depressed or otherwise. People whisper and you may have heard many things about me, some true and others not. I hear whispers too, but they go in one ear and out the other, because in most cases it’s optics and another attempting to sway a narrative.
Hierarchies? You’re at the bottom? I don’t see it that way. I’d say you’re over analyzing again but you’ve already countered that. Nothing I have said about hierarchies has a thing to do with REDACTED, or even REDACTED. I was speaking generally.
In closure, lets now look at our communication as a commodity (i.e. product or service we would or would not benefit from) since it has been positioned that way. My return on investment (time, etc.) results to net zero if I’m being used in any capacity.
The end”
Please tell me where I’m wrong.
Highly Appreciated...
I prefer Clarity over Agreement, if I had to choose.
“The ego is not master in its own house.”
Sigmund Freud
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