10 WAYS TO DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN

Hi, I’m Dr. Christian Conti and parenting can be really hard especially when you children aren’t listening to you, That’s why in this content, I’m going to show you 10 steps that you can take to learn how to discipline your children in the most effective way possible so stay glued.
Step 1 – Remember that your primary goal is to teach your children now look you can go there lazy R out yell and scream and make all kind of fuss at your children when you are trying to teach but it is that really optimal way the children learn is that the best way that you learn would you like to be yelled at and screamed at and hit for not knowing something, think about it if your primary goal is to teach your children, think about the best possible way that you can teach them.
Step 2 – Align your expectations with reality your children are supposed to make mistakes the reality is they are going to mess up and I, We’ve been around on this earth much longer than our children and we still make mistakes and think about it would you really like it if someone yelled, screamed amine or hit you Just because you made a mistake? Align you expectation with reality are supposed to make mistakes, they were not burn knowing everything remember, it is your jib to do step 1 which is teach our children and in other to do that effectively, we move to step 2 which is align our expecting with reality that our children are going to make mistakes.
Step 3 – Understand that child’s learning style, look what works for you won’t necessarily work for your children think about it if your children seeing well, you are just going to take off your glasses and say hey… just put these on they work for me, I’m sure they’ll work for you, it is not going to happen there are different learning styles, some children like to learn by visualizing other children like to learn better by listening still others learn by touching things and being hands-on with the experience of it, the fact is, if you want your children to learn, you have to figure out what their learning style is so figure out your children learning styles.
Step 4 – Take the time to meet your children where they are look if you had a friend who was stuck in another state and he called you up and said I’m stuck in another state and you said, well you should not be there, that’s not going to or do anything that’s kind o waste of time, if you really want to help your friend, you got to hang up the phone and actually go meet him where he is and the same is true with your children if they have been told something ad they are not getting it then the reality is they are not getting it and so it is your job as a parent to go meet them where they are you might think well I shouldn’t have to keep explaining this or I shouldn’t have to say this over to you over and over but if your children aren’t getting it that means take the time to go meet them where they are when you do that, you have done this step (4).
Step 5 – talk to the part of your child’s brain that you actually want to listen , it is really simply children think higher level thinking happens in the front of your brain but the part of your brain that is really based on fear or fight or flight is in the middle of your brain so when we are screaming at our children the middle part of their brain is activated but we want the front part to be activated so if we really want to teach , we have got to step back and just talk and when we do the the front part of the brain is activated.
Step 6 – Give your children choices whether you want to acknowledge it or not your children have a choice in every situations and that means they even they have a choice to not listen to you. We might not be able to choose in life all the things that happen to us but we always have a choice with what we do, with what happens to us in life, your children have a choice whether or not they listen to you, now here is what is really important if they choose not to listen well that’s why there is a next step.
Step 7 – Provide consequences although it is awesome to validate ad acknowledge that your children have a choice, it is really important not to enable your children to keep doing ineffective behaviors and so to stop enabling them, you want to provide a consequence that will them learn the lesson because you remember your goal is to teach your children listen to this children who have the lowest self-esteem have no rules and no consequences, children with a little bit higher self-esteem have rules and consequences but the children with the higher self-esteem have rules consequences and explanations in other words, they understand why their choice led to a specific consequence because remember, your ultimate goal is to teach and when you do that you need to give them the reality. Life has choices and consequences.
Step 8 - Be consistence in other words, follow through with whatever you say that way your children know that you mean what you say, we all start out with a whole lot of credibility with our children but every time we tell them we are going to do something and we don’t, our credibility drops and it drops and that’s the bad news but the good news is this, the more we can be consistent and follow through with what we are going to say the more credibility builds back up with our children, I’m not asking you to be perfect in regards to consistency because any parent out there knows that’s pretty much nearly impossible but what I am asking you to do is to be mindful of being more consistent to gain more credibility.
Step 9 - Use compassion remember that there is a big difference between discipline and violence and aggression and there is no real reason that discipline ever needed to get entangled with violence and aggression, children need discipline, they do not need violence or aggression , compassion is what they need.
Step 10 – Role model, the type of self-disciplined that you want your children to have but we all know that children learn much ore by watching than listening to know what we are saying , if we want our children to be self-disciplined and in control of their lives then we need to be self-disciplined and in control of our lives in fact, it is the reason why I titled my last book Zen parent, Zen child, if I want my child to Zen I’ve to be Zen myself remember you are your child’s role model and they are always watching you so you don’t get to take a time out from your character, you have got to be on because you’ve got a role model because your primary goal in all of this is to teach your children.