It's a great question. I have had my own experience with death, and later found myself in a role where watching people pass was a part of day to day for an uncomfortably long time. Young and old, suffering and peacefully. Both my own experience and being a witness to others brought about what was first an unwanted clarity. However once I learned to accept the meaning in the minutiae something altered and for years has remained that way.
Having stated all this I can't say I would do much different than what I'm doing now. This isn't to say life hasn't had it's regrets and things have passed that I wished I had seized. But each point just lead me to a stage where I learned to look at regret and its roots. If what I wince over is a missed chance that I am the only beneficiary I tend to let it go. If it was a regret sourced from a past pettiness or unintentional wounding of a person I care about or don't for that matter, I hold onto it and use it as a reminder to not make the same mistake. Again it was my own experience with almost leaving that brought this about. I long ago learned to see regret as something that isn't carried like a weight, but rather something that's part of reflection. A mirror that when looked into isn't supposed to show what I want to see, but rather what's there and what can be done about it. A call to be more alert with the cause and effects I am part of and share with others. So knowing I was off in a years time wouldn't change much in my approaches to past and present interactions. Doesn't mean that tomorrow or those days in count down wouldn't bring about more moments missed or mistakes made. My outlook would remain the same.
I think that last year would boil down to quietly preparing. I would want to really ensure that anything monetary or of help I could leave behind to others I care about was beefed up and robust. A lot of double checking basically. I wouldn't notify others. I know the character of those who care about me and I wouldn't want to make them feel burdened. I would rather we all interact as we always have. I have people I care about who rely on me, I have people I care about who I rely on. We are all sharing our time in life together but the heavy meaning is in the minutiae of that sharing. I often look at those I share my life with day to day and think about every little and large event that lead them to a point where we could share a cup of coffee, have an argument, laugh at things. The walk and events that brought them to stare off and think about what they are going to say. A massive cascade of good, bad, small, and large events all coming to head in each newly arriving moment and all leading to something as simple as just sharing a cuppa. The perspective I just laid out is not a state of awareness I am always in. After my experience with death that reality or awareness started to just show up. Frequently and often uncomfortably. Now I am grateful for it. Knowing I was going to leave wouldn't alter much there. I'm sure I'd still slip into being an a**hole from time to time. I'd still have moments that were great as well. I wouldn't want the way things happen day to day expected or unexpected to change. After all I'd already know when I was dying right? That's a great notification bell to have. Far better than mind that bus. What bus? Splat.
I would want to pick a spot. Isolated where when I left it was done alone. I hike and travel a lot. I always let someone close to me know where I'm heading and how long I will be gone. I would be sure to notify someone I know could cope with finding me and bring the news to others. I'd hope that as a plan that would work. I have three spots I'd choose from. One in the Smokey Mountains where I hunted once. It was one of the prettiest mornings I ever spent in solitude and a good spot to see a last sunrise. Another would be on a river in Florida where I spent part of my life. I used to fish in a quiet spot with my Father and one of my brothers. We where catfish fishing one evening and as the sunset and the moon came out I remember looking over and seeing them take in the same thing I was. Mirror water gently rippling like black mercury, the sound of a whippoorwill off in the distance, a gator cutting a curtain path across the surface of the water 30 yards out. A still and beautiful place. A good view to take in. But chances are I'd head up to Snowdonia over here in the U.K. There's a high point that offers a stunning view that I hike to from time to time. It would be a good last walk.
I've never seen a skeptic or an atheist have their skepticism and atheism survive in tact if they have had their heart stop as result of trauma, be clinically dead, come back due to medical intervention, AND have worked around dying people. I know the fear of death has many roots and it's tap root is comprised of our biological drive to keep going as long as possible. I know that due to the way our soggy computer in our skulls work we try to order it and assign meaning. Faith, religion, science and dismissal of any higher meaning. Most people base their faith and religion on experiences had and used to reinforce, science and the scientific method clearly break down at many levels when we reach past what we are able to observe and measure. Both churches are gunning for absolutes and both often use aspects of the other unwittingly. The reality is we don't know what the reality is. Every time we find what we triumphantly declare a new absolute it becomes tomorrows absurdity. Yet we have no antique facts outside of gravity, living, and dying.. I am being overly simplistic there but short on time. We stake a claim on knowing and defend it viciously unknowingly putting in more effort trying to comfort ourselves. It seems by searching for concrete meaning we miss genuine meaning. I'm not a fan of absolutes. I have suspicions about a number of things from my own experiences but those are my own. I don't sit under a tree going omm, I don't shake a floppy bible as a result of those experiences . I also think Dawkins work is something dumb people subscribe to to make themselves feel smart (read all his work, been to one of his talks). Atheism is one hell of an absurdity when we consider we can only observe 1% of the universe around us, yet we arrogantly declare we know what is or isn't. Our absolutes in one age rarely survive the next. Same as declaring it is something and we say that's God and it's nature is 1 2 3. Again, declaring the nature of something like that is absolute is... well... silly. I have a powerful suspicion regarding there being a broader reality once my meat suit quits. Not a suspicion I would declare as an absolute though. Not a suspicion that I'd want others to adopt either. It's born from my own experience and we all are going to have our own experiences with death. Our roads to it and our footing greeting it will widely vary.
Knowing I would die in a year or ten for that matter wouldn't alter much for me. I can honestly say that. My time between here and that moments arrival would, no different than it does today. But today like yesterday I'll do what I've done for years. Not assign meaning but rather let it do what it normally does which is smack me across the head which is always rewarding. Not close the door on anything but try to take people and places in in their entirety, reflect on any regrets I unwittingly accumulate so I can wittingly not do so again, and basically live.
Thanks for the great post. I haven't written much lately as have been seeing to tasks and tedium in the 3D world so not much time for good old steeming. Writing a response to your post has knocked the dust off a bit so it was a great exercise. Reading others responses has been rewarding to. So thanks for that. Looking forward to your next post @anomadsoul. Keep steeming.