I grew up in a typical home with my mom and stepdad as well as my half siblings (i hate that term, btw). My mom was single when I came along and the story I had been told was that K was my "real dad" but that he didn't respond well when my mom told him that she was pregnant, so she decided to raise me on her own. She pretty quickly met and married my stepdad, who treated me just like one of his own...but it was no secret that I had a different father.
When I was 14, my mom took me to meet the man she said was my "real dad", K. A couple of years later, K introduced me to his kids, B, J, & T and a couple of years after that, he introduced me to the rest of his family. It was awkward and challenging, but I was loved and accepted from day one. As adults, B and I have become quite close, being almost like best friends rather than sisters.
In Dec 2017, B mentioned off hand that she really hoped her husband would buy her AncestryDNA for Christmas because she was dying to do it. I knew (and so did she) that it was unlikely that her husband would purchase it for her, so I bought the kit for her. Merry Christmas! She was over the moon, excited to find out more about her (our) heritage. I was excited for her and was thrilled when she got her results! We spent a little time going over the ethnicity estimates and discussing what made sense to us and what was a surprise. As we don't share a mom, I knew that her results didn't necessarily show me anything about myself, but it was nice to see our paternal danish heritage show up super strong.
In Nov 2018, B asked if I had done AncestryDNA and I shared with her some of my concerns about it (mostly privacy concerns) but told her that I was probably being silly as my daughter had a DNA test done as an infant, it wouldn't be a huge leap to get my identity from my sister's and daughter's results. I didn't know how prophetic that justification would become.
B bought me a test and I suggested she should give to to me early so I could get the results for Christmas. I told her the results were the real gift, not the tube to spit in. She agreed and on Dec 3rd, I mailed my test in to Ancestry. Then I waited and watched and waited and twiddled my thumbs and checked the website and waited some more until Dec 27th when I got the email that my results were ready! I excitedly opened up the app and looked through the ethnicity results where nothing seemed strange.....spoiler alert - I'm a white girl whose ethnicity was 100% European. Huge surprise.
Then I moved on to the DNA matches where I expected to see B, as well as a half niece and a first cousin who I knew had tested. They weren't there. In fact, not one single name looked familiar to me. I didn't know any of these people. Que emotional tailspin. I hopped onto a FB Group for people utilizing DNA testing for genetic genealogy and asked how this was possible...I was so confused. The very first comment was "You're NPE" I had no idea what that meant and I didn't pay it much attention because I was trying to figure out what had gone so wrong with my test. One woman even had the nerve to suggest that I had been kidnapped or switched at birth! I didn't know what to think but I felt like my world had begun to spin and I couldn't find my bearings, like my roots had disintegrated and there was nothing keeping me grounded.
While my world was spiraling out of control, I received a message from one of my DNA matches who turned out to be my 1C1R...my results weren't wrong or a mistake. They were accurate. The reality hit me smack in the face.......
MY DAD ISN'T MY DAD
To Be Continued...
DNA Image courtesy of Pixaby.com