My Original Song Panacea // Drowning in Stage Number 2 of the Grieving Process

in #dsound7 years ago (edited)

My friend passed away yesterday.
I feel simultaneously angry, lost, hurt, depressed, anxious, and worried.
This combination of feelings is wrapped up in a heavy blanket of numbing nothingness which smothers all these emotions so that they feel buried underneath, where I can't reach them.
I thought I would have more time.
Time to say how much she meant to me.
Time to say goodbye.

There was a timeline.
The doctor gave this timeline, but the cancer had other plans.

What the fuck is cancer?
Does it seem like we have more cancer now than we did like 50 years ago?
What are we doing wrong?

My friend was an Angel.
A beautiful soul that helped so many people.
She was an active member of community outreach programs to help those in poverty and also spent so much time helping animals in need as well.
She spent her life helping innocent children and animals and in turn,​ she gets devoured by a cancer that kills her.

What is the reasoning here?
Don't tell me that God has a plan.
What the fuck kind of plan is that?

I'm sinking in isolation and anger.
I want to crawl up into a fetal position and sleep forever.

My friend was a beautiful singer.
I dedicate this song about the bargaining stage of grief to her.

I love you M.
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I am so sorry for your loss. Sounds like your friend was an amazing person, my condolences.
I love this song and its chord progression. It hurts, it´s bitter, it´s angry, it´s sweet.

Thank you so much Yidneth. Big hugs. <3

The song is far beyond words. One of if not my favorite, as in all time.
So sorry about losing your friend, may you find comfort in knowing that she is at peace.
There are many more cancer deaths now than 100 years ago, it's not just hearsay(just looked it up). It's the chemicals, medications and lifestyle. I lost a biological father and an adopted father to it.

So sorry for your losses. <3
And thank you so much for your thoughts on my song...that really means so much to me.

I'm sorry for your loss. Fuck cancer :( From your words, I am sure she was a great person. It is sad :( We hear new cancer treatments everyday, and yet, such a big killer. I know death is needed for life to keep going on, but sometimes is just not fair :(
Don't sink... Let's enjoy while we are here.

I love this song, even with the sad lyrics. It is very powerful. I love the production, atmosphere and epic energy. I've listened to it many times, and here it sounds really nice.
Thank you!

Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful words...it means a lot to me. <3

I'm truly sorry to hear the devastating news. The numbness at times like this can even make it harder to allow feelings to resolve since, as you said, you can't quite get to them.

Did you make this song with a program at all, or are all of the instruments physical?

Thank you so much <3
The song is actually a combination of real instruments and synth sounds.

You're welcome. 💓 I see. So the synth sounds came out of Pro Tools entirely?

I recorded it using Pro Tools.

Music is what feelings sound like

Oh @isaria I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and pain. Another beautiful soul lost to the ugly monster that is cancer 😔 I lost a very dear family member in similar awful circumstances at Christmas. This track is beautifully created and I hope your creativity somehow helps in the healing process.
Hugs 🤗
Darren xx ♥

Thank you so much Darren, I'm sorry for your loss as well. <3

Sorry for your loss, also lost a friend to cancer couple years back and still seems very arbitrary and unfair. Track is nicely put together

So unfair, thank you for your comment <3

Hi is a Beautiful song, i am sorry for your lost, I lost a friend a time ago and I know is a hard moment. Keep doing music girl your work is awesome a big hug for you.

Thank you so much <3

Upvoted and resteemed.

Lost my pet when I had no one to share my sorrow, amidst the highschool bullying. It was my fault, that I lost the one I truly loved. I spent two weeks crying