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RE: Mishmash, immortal (original poetry)

in #dsound7 years ago

Your words and their placement is so effective, it gives one the feel she is on an amusement park ride, maybe a roller coaster.

"What is polite society
but the violent displacement
of dreamers
from their dream?

                             Conduits of light in leisure,
                         A comfortable lineage through utopic trials.

                         Genetic fissure in
                             the skies of this
                                  world of scintillating
                                       diamond overtaking agony.

Suddenly, there is a rapturous tunnel
Through which the world's eggshell"

Very powerful and the utmost of craft exhibited. Bravo.

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I always look forward to your feedback, thanks @prydefoltz! An amusement park ride... I quite like that :-D

It is quite a think when one can create a sense of movement with poetry:):):)