>be me >be 7th grade in New York >sit and talk to some boys because nobody else to talk to >I'm new and lonely >barely speak English >some girl takes seat between us >interrupts me, when try to talk >"Nobody understands you count chocula" >"Does it look like anybody cares what you have to say?" >tensions rise between us every day >I tell my father I want to beat her up >He says "Do not fight. Try to distance yourself from her." >every day is worse than last >close to breaking point >teacher moves us so I am near front of class and she is near back >teacher is late to class >I stare at whiteboard, wait for class to begin >she throws things at me >I try to ignore her >pen bounces off my head >hear girl tell her friend "She's such a retard." >scream "I AM NOT A RETARD" >open retard-strength.exe >I pick up my desk and throw it at her >BOOM HEADSHOT >she flies back, skips off another desk, rolls over another desk and takes it to floor with her >papers and books flying everywhere >room goes silent >mean girl is on the other side of the room under pile of tipped desks and spilled papers >mfw distanced myself from her, like father said >classmats stand between me and the door >their mouths and eyes are wide open >other girl screams "You're in trouble!" >look at desk pile >look at door >need more distance, like father said >plow through crowd of children, hear skulls cracking against wooden desks and linoleum floors >plow four children against the door and break it open >hear them thud against door and crack against lineoleum floor outside classroom >I tumble to the floor buffered by a layer of terrified children >close retard-strength.exe >I pick myself up, turn around, and run down hallway in blind panic >run past teacher >run out of school >run downtown >run past governor's mansion >run past state capitol >run past Empire State Plaza >run over bridge across Hudson river >run Forrest run >run to sister's apartment >call my father >calm myself down with froyo >wait for my father to arrive >he tells me I still have to go to school >next day >walk into class through broken door >everybody in class covered in awful lumps and bruises >mean girl is not there, she is in hospital >everybody staring at me in silence >say "I am not a retard." >sit down at my broken desk and pretend nothing happened >Mfw mean girl never came back >Mfw everybody from that day told me how smart and not-retarded I am Feels good man
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