Words coming from the heart break barriers and cause empathy.
(Marshall Rosenberg).
This is the last part of Marshall Rosenberg's nonviolent communication methodology – Empathy.
The method of nonviolent communication helps to communicate peacefully, it is used in diplomacy and ordinary communication between people.
The first stage was the Observation – I shot about this video 74. The second stage – Feelings in 86 video. The third stage is the Needs in 91 video. And the fourth stage – Request – in 97 video.
EMPATHY
Empathy is a respectful understanding of what others are going through. It occurs only when we have no preconceived ideas about Others, when we are open and ready to hear the Other.
Sometimes we want empathy, but we can't show it to someone else, and instead we express something else. This is what happens when we focus on what we think in this one.
This happens when we don’t give another person time and place to express his feelings.
Often we react like this:
Advise: "I think, you should.", "Why you not have become?..»
Talk about ourself: "That's nothing; but listen to what happened to me."
We teach: "This could be a great lesson for you if you…»
Comfort: "It is not your fault; you have done all you could."
To tell similar cases : "it reminds me of those times…»
We break off in the middle of a word: "don’t be discouraged. It's not that bad."
Sympathize: "Oh, you poor thing…”
Investigate: "When did it start?"
Explain: "I would call, but…»
We correct: "All this didn’t happen."
A key component of empathy is presence.
Exercise 5.
To determine how much you are able to see whether there is empathy in communication or not, please note those statements in which person B responds empathically to what is happening to person A.
- Person A: How could I be so stupid?
Person B: everyone is imperfect; you are too hard on yourself.
I would not mention this statement, because Person B gives comfort, and does not accept with empathy that expresses the Person A.
Person A: If I were asked, I would say that all these immigrants should be sent back to where they came from.
Person B: Do you really think that would solve anything?
I see that Person B is trying to teach, not to empathize with what Person A says.
Person A: You're not God!
Person B: Are you upset because you want me to admit that there may be other interpretations of this question?
If you noted this number, I agree with you: there is empathy here.
Person A: I think you take me for granted. I wonder how you would have done without me.
Person B: That's not true! I don't take you for granted.
I find that Person B denies and defends, not accepts with empathy what happens to Person A.
Person A: How could you say that to me?
Person B: Do you feel hurt by what I said?
I find that Person B takes responsibility for Person A's feelings rather than accepting with empathy what happens to him. Man B might say, "Do you feel hurt because you'd rather I agreed to do what you asked me to do?»
Person A: I'm mad at my husband. He's never around when I need him.
Person B: do you think he should be around you more often?
If you noted this number, I partially agree with you. I see that Person B perceives Person's A thoughts. However, I believe that when we accept feelings and expressed needs rather than thought, there is a deeper connection between us. So I would prefer Person B to say, "So you're angry with your husband because you want him around more often?»
Person A: I walk so hard that I disgust myself.
Person B: Perhaps Jogging would help you.
I find that Person B gives advice, not accepts with empathy what happens to Person A.
Person A: my nerves went to my daughter's wedding. The groom's family isn't helping at all. Every day they have new plans.
Person B: So you are concerned about how to arrange things, and would be happy if your future relatives knew more about the difficulties that their indecision creates for you?
If you marked this number, I agree with you.
Person A: When my relatives come without telling me in advance, I feel that I have been a victim of occupation. Similarly, my parents once ignored my needs and decided everything for me.
Person B: I know that feeling. I used to feel that way myself.
I find that Person B assumes that he correctly understood the feelings of the interlocutor, and begins to talk about his own feelings, and doesn’t accept with empathy what happens to Person A.
Person A: I'm disappointed with your work. I wanted your department has doubled production in the past month.
Person B: I know you're disappointed, but we had a lot of people on sick leave.
- I find that Person B starts by focusing on Person's A feelings, but then shifts to an explanation.
SUMMARY
The technique of Nonviolent communication can help us: improve communication with ourselves and others, learn to hear ourselves, recognize our feelings and needs, take responsibility for our feelings, learn to listen and respond with empathy, express what we really want and ask for it, if necessary.
NVC help us to be more positive and build effective communication with others, which will benefit both you and your partner.
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Nice ! Let me try and get this right , I’ve done some work on this recently in a group but still find it a bit unclear . So it is better to ask questions pertaining to the persons feeling instead of making excuses or making it about you and listening attentively?
Btw. I mean to tell you happy birthday but I got distracted. Forgive me. I hope you had a wonderful day. Keep on brining the healing to steem. Bless you !
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Thanks for congratulations, @dmilliz))!
It is better to ask or say how you understand feelings of person.
Making excuses immediately - this is the position of self-defense, but not empathy.
Listening carefully is good. And most importantly - to hear what the other says.
I hope I understood your question correctly? I don't speak English very well.
Level 5 listening . Yes it is clearer now. You answered correctly. I think this is harder for men but i am getting the hang of it LOl. Your English is good dear. Never forget:)
It is good.
Thank you! :)
Empathy is very important thing. Before you do something to other person, it is better to think what that person can feel about it :)
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Yes, I agree with you, @emsonic!
Right
Greetings, dear sweetheart Elena
This is one of the most important points that psychologists need to have. But, not only psychologists, of course, all people should develop this quality because it is too important for our close relationships and life in society in general.
There are 2 types of people who are not very empathetic. Psychopaths / sociopaths who can never put themselves in the other's place. Of these, we need to distance ourselves. However, there is the other type of person who is not yet very mature, mainly linked to self-knowledge. For this person, an education in this area living with people who have a higher level of empathy would help a lot in the development of it ...
Thank you very much for the topic. Really enjoyed.
Good night!!!
Thanks for this nice comment, @julisavio!
There is news about empathy - good and bad.
The good news is that psychopaths do have empathy, but you have to ask them to imagine that the other person feels pain, for example.
Bad - the psychopathic sadists have very developed empathy. So they get pleasure from the pain of the victims.
I did not know this information, but, anyway, I'm afraid hehehe.
Whenever I participate in your posts, I try to bookmark you on twitter to show it to people. But, your name written in Russian does not let me dial .... if you have any way, please teach me !!!!!
Thank you, honey.
Hehe))
I think you can copy my name from my page.
I tried it and dont make effect... I will think in another think. Thank, you