I know that you gave us a warning before but this was a real tear-jerker. Wow what a story and it sounds like complete insanity but you know what the fact that you made it out stronger means you got something positive out of it. I think you are on to something here, I am also trying to take my time, learn about myself. I've been improving how to think and not what to think.
There's no time frame on learning or healing its a continuous process and I'm sure if you stick to this path and take it day by day one day you'll look back and be like look how far ive come, im a complete bad ass now lol
I already sense this confidence that you can only get from feeling "right" about something. All my life I always tried calming myself with this mantra that I am doing the right thing. And this is exactly where we find our power. In confidence about ourselves. The zero energy field, the principle of economy of effort from the Vedanta … the pleasure of everything coming from nothing!
Thanks a lot for your empathy. @jonyoudyer and the Beatles definitely said it right: "Love is all you need". And you guys, all of your beautiful comments, definitely made me feel loved. Thanks a lot. I'm a minnow now. That's what I focus on. :)