meaning? what do you think changed inside you?
Well, I enlisted in the Marine Corps at the age of 18, (to escape the environment I was in.) and was trained in various hand to hand combat techniques. I'm not sure why, but I was chosen to partake in a few "specialized" training programs while I was enlisted. Military police training, and advanced MCMAP were two programs where I learned intuitively how to render a person unconscious or disabled very quickly through various methods, (pressure points, blood/oxygen restriction, ect.)
For the longest time I did not even remember some of the training I went through. Maybe repression, or drug use, I don't know, but I consciously forgot allot. I was in a couple of volatile situations over the years, and this stuff activated like some muscle memory, and when it was over, I was in shock with what had happened, because I had no idea what I was capable of. It was a scene like you described, where someone almost died.
Understanding that you have that capability, and not wanting to hurt others, it makes sense to want to avoid confrontation I think.
PS. I'm not much of a sports fan, with the exception of boxing and MMA. I was a fan of boxing at a young age and would watch HBO Boxing After Dark. I'll check out the email :)
Cheers,
@futuremind