My weightloss story is not a story about losing weight. In fact, the 10kg weight loss that I've maintained for well over a year, is simply a side effect of incorporating Aparigraha into my life. The real transformation happened in my brain, my habits and my relationship with food. Like almost every woman in the Western world, I struggled with my weight and my self-image for years.
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In my early teenage years I felt distressed about how my body was changing, and started spending more and more of my free time engrossed in ‘teenage’ magazines.
SIDE NOTE:
Did you know that Seventeen magazine has a recommended age limit of 18 years+!? 😂
The Diet Paradigm 🥀
All of the garbage that I learned from those magazines is part of what I consider to be ‘the diet paradigm’. It’s a way of thinking that is about denial, restriction and constant struggle. This paradigm creates lack in the subconscious mind, which is why everyone has experienced failure on a diet. If you are telling yourself that you’re fat and need to lose weight, you will remain in that cycle of ‘battling the bulge’ until you shift your mindset (or paradigm).
Those teenage magazines I was reading firmly implanted this paradigm into my mind, and lead to a really unhealthy relationship with food and years of strict dieting. I got very skinny, lost my period, and then gained lots of weight as my obsession with my diet morphed into binge eating. For me, the answer to this exhausting cycle of restriction and binging was veganism. It expanded my mind to the point where dieting lost its hold over me. I didn’t lose much weight going vegan, only a few kilos, but my relationship with food quickly became more holistic and healthy (literally). How do I know that it lost its hold over me? I reached one of my heaviest weight ever, and didn’t really care!
I made this video a while ago, and originally uploaded it to YouTube. I'm uploading it here because I feel that it encapsulates that abundance I feel when it comes to vegan food.
▶️ DTube
▶️ IPFS
The Detox Paradigm 🌷
Let me first preface by saying I mean detox in the sense of getting rid of everything that doesn’t serve you. I’m not talking about going on a juice fast. I’m talking about actively removing toxic people, food and habits etc.
Aparigraha is a Sanskrit word which can be understood as ‘non-greediness’ or ‘non-grasping’. It’s also a yogic principle or yama. Graha means to seize, Pari means on all sides, and A is a negation of those concepts. Essentially, we shouldn’t take more than we need. It's easy to understand, but REALLY hard to put into practice when we have addictions and years of social conditioning around the need for more.
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For me personally, I went through a trauma that rendered me incapable of eating more than one or two small meals a day. I felt physically sick with grief and anxiety and quickly lost 10kgs in a few months. Let me be the first to say it - this is not a recommendation! It was the worst time of my life, and I sincerely hope that you are not inspired by the restriction, but by what came from it.
In healing from this trauma, life gave me a beautiful gift. I recalibrated my mind to be in sync with my body’s actual appetite. I learned to focus on the whole experience of eating, rather the food itself. This means that I now cared more about how hungry I actually was, how I felt during eating it and, importantly I stopped caring if I didn’t finish everything on my plate. I stopped taking (eating) more than I needed.
My weight fluctuates naturally with my body's state but always remains about the same. This tells me that the weight loss during that time was a release, and enabled me to find my state of balance.
The principle of Aparigraha is powerful because it will not only help to release you from the grip of overeating and food addiction, but it will also help you to become more aware of the other physical, emotional and spiritual baggage that you are carrying. Think of any excess weight as, essentially a hoarding of calories that have not been required by your body. Aparigraha is about releasing attachment and that means (amongst many other things) not being fixated on your weight. In practising Aparigraha you will naturally release what no longer serves you and find balance.
Food should be one of the most pleasurable and natural aspects of our daily lives. After enjoying a meal, our bodies should feel satiated and our minds, content. The body is satisfied when it receives all the nutrients and substance it needs to support its tissues. The mind, on the other hand, feels satisfied by our meal’s colours, presentation and on a subconscious level, the love it was prepared with.
Aparigraha extends to every area of our lives. But it's primary lesson for me has been to examine the WHY behind our diets and detoxes. It's got me to ask myself, "Are you coming from a place of self-love and simply aiming to be a better, happier and healthier version of yourself; or are you coming from an unhealthy place of self-loathing and feelings of inadequacy?"
Only you know the answer to that!
How to lose 10kg in three simple steps:
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Let's get pizza! 😅🍕
stop talking about food haha^^
Well said Hannah. Totally agree! :)
P.S. You look great!!
Thank you Nicole 💚 So do you! 🤩
nice to read more about you dear. Thanks for the share !
Thank you so much! ☺️
Yes eating the right food is much more important than eating less.
EXACTLY!
"Food should be one of the most pleasurable and natural aspects of our daily lives" yep this is it!
Glad you feel the same way! 😄 What's your favourite food?
The best veganfood i cook by myself..Coconut/Cashew Curry! Amazing stuff ;)
YUM! 🤤 Let me know if you post the recipe, I would love to make that! 🍛
hm..i never thought about post a recipe..but why not ;) i let you kow!
Yay! Thank you 😄
That’s incredible you look amazing :) ! Great job !
Thanks so much Steven! 💁♀️
Beautiful story, Hannah! Thanks for sharing it. I never thought about applying the concept of aparigraha to food in this way. And that fun fact about seventeen mag is insane. It's so ironic they have a disclaimer that their intended audience should not be reading their content 😱
I know right! I saw on a documentary that they have that disclaimer on their website 🤦♀️ it's amazing really haha
ughhhhhh love all these foods! great editing babe <3 #govegan!
Thank you! It was a pretty big Chiang Mai food throwback lol 😅
What a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing this very insightful post 😊 ✨ And I especially love the question at the end "Are you coming from a place of self-love and simply aiming to be a better, happier and healthier version of yourself; or are you coming from an unhealthy place of self-loathing and feelings of inadequacy?" ❤ So important!!
I'm so glad that resonated with you ❤️ I often forget to ask myself that question so it was as much a reminder for myself!
You are beautiful! I loved the article and the story! 🤗
Thank you so much! 🙏🏼✨
I think you look gorgeous at a higher weight and at a lower weight. I wish our society would help us focus on health rather than numbers or how we look, and you're right, self-loathing doesn't help with weight at all. In the end, if you hate yourself, you still will when you're thinner. But health and good habits can be sustainable. <3
Thank you lovely Anna! I put that before and after photo comparison in at the last minute as I figured I should provide 'proof' 😅 But you're so right, we need to focus on our health and how we FEEL, not how we look ❤️ It reminds me of a post John Mayer made that true beauty is about what's on the inside, otherwise it's just 'congrats about your face' 😂 always makes me lol
OMG YES! I love that quote and it's so true. But either way, I think you are beautiful inside and out. I think a healthy mind, body and soul is very important..and as long as you're not eating too badly and moving if you can, it's fantastic. :)
I think YOU are beautiful inside and out too!
And you should shut up with the bullshit you spew cause this is not youtube and therefore have no power here. Everyone sees through your fake persona and your stalking tactics. Stop being a weak little man with an inferiority complex and act like an adult at your age not a little toddler throwing tantrums and wanting to hurt others cause u feel in your mind that you can justify hurting others for the tiniest little thing that some one says that hurts your ego and narrative that you are the victim and have done nothing wrong.
You have caused pain and destruction to peoples livelihood, their mental health and driven peoples support away from you. And for what? Just to repair your already dubious image on the internet and especially youtube.
You are a toxic person and deserve no sympathy for the pain you have caused. I am happy that what Michael hebo has done with his unmasking series managed to reach those who were vulnerable to your message are now leaving in droves and finally waking up to the bullshit and seeing you for person who you are.
Not a leader and mentor but a narcissistic and ego driven person who uses everyone around you and have no empathy for any other person on this planet. I applauded the efforts that michael has done to expose ypu and also defend hannah and her integrity. Yes i may not know them personally at least i can see they have honesty and i hope to find a partner like michael and his type of personality and not your sick personality ever. You disgust me, harley and id never ever go near you nor i would believe over hannah.
Talking about the issue about breast implants, you are a hypocrite by attacking hannah on a falsehood and lie and yet your relationship with freelee you never called out her for breast implants during the time you were together and you project the plastic surgery story cause you have done it to yourself with the teeth. You are projecting and being hypocritical, harley. Not hannah. You are the one shaming hannah and her looks and others girls for not being skinny like freelee, tori or natasha. Guess what women have curves and honestly who gives a damn if they dont look like a stick.
Yes, i may not know hannah and michael in real life, but if i ever meet irl, i would absolutely support them and hold a conversationwith them. The impression i hold is that both are friendly and caring people who just want to live their lives in peace.
Stop projecting your "ideal" woman to people who are sick of your disgusting lies and "truths". Michael knows his partner more than you and have a strong healthy relationship unlike you as they obviously treat each other with respect and are equals unlike your relationships where it is clear you are nothing parasitic influence on the women you have had relationships with (i.e. freelee, tori and now natasha). You control the public images of yourself, your partner and the raw till 4 diet as any attack is a personal attack when you show off and say "Hey look at us!! We eat heaps of sugar and we arent fat!!!." You dont look healthy at all you look like an old man with little muscle despite being on steroids. At least people like Jon Venus is better looking, natural and unlike you a million times better, has integrity and gives a damn about veganism as a whole.
Both Hannah and michael have 1000 times more integrity than you will ever have and hannah has nothing to hide from anyone and she doesn't need to force herself on the internet when clearly you and others on youtube are hellbent in destroying her mentally and her own integrity. You poison relationships but blame others for your actions towards them and call people every insult possible especially towards women with the misogynistic tendencies to say that some women are "basic hand bag wearing bitches" if they are not up to your standards of the "perfect woman" and "fake". You are a disgusting person with a mind of a 2 year old who believes everything should be given to you on a silver platter. No woman should ever have anything to do with someone who can't give 2 shits about anyone but themselves. My advice: Back off and leave hannah alone, she doesnt need a 40+ year old man trying to ruin her life especially as she gas hurt your ego by saying no to you.
Love this so much because I basically experienced the same thing.
I feel like it’s a problem that goes along with the teenage years to the mid-twenties that we seek to look for gurus or people to follow (that’s why these magazines speak to us girls, oh man, how much money have I wasted on instyle, womenshealth and shape magazines).
However, when we follow these gurus (that tell us what to eat and how much of it) we automatically learn to ignore the signs our own body sends us e.g. I’m satisfied - or I‘m hungry.
And then it becomes really problematic - once you follow one or different diets/gurus/magazine tips for a long period of time, it’s hard to release of those dogmas, because we feel lost without a program/diet.
In yogi words, it is agains ahimsa- when we harm our body by over/under eating against our natural feeling.
It happened in Fall of 2016 that I started to listen to my own body again. And I‘m so glad that I saw you just a month ago being so happy and full of bliss, when we met in Hawaii, Hannah. ♥️
Yes! It was so beautiful to see you in Hawaii!! I'm so sure that our paths will naturally cross again without us even having to try and make it happen ✨💛 I also cringe to think of how much money I spent on those magazines! And even more time on these useless diets and, as you say, dogmas. It was the summer/fall of 2016 for me too, so we have been on parallel journeys! And that's such a good point about under or over eating being against ahimsa as it the opposite of peace and love to both deny yourself or stuff yourself full. I'd never thought of it like that before, thanks for your insight! Both states come from a place of self hatred, and so can be acts of violence against yourself.