It takes a BIG person to share the things you just did @jerrybanfield
In and amongst my abusive marriage and relationships, I dated a guy... I had met him when I was much younger and then met again about 10 years later. We started dating. He was a very DARK individual. VERY DARK!
I was introduced to so much "stuff" I had never been aware of until then. We went to BDSM parties where in every single room there was something different going on... from people being hung and whipped, people being burnt, people injecting and drinking one anothers blood... it was eye opening. There were women posed as ornaments - not allowed to move for the entire evening as they were the "platter" upon which the sushi was served.
Now, the parties didnt really worry me, it was the "darkness" that followed them that did. The longer I spent in a relationship with this man, the more I found myself delving into the sinister.
Rape became a turn on, voyeurism (which is a natural attraction/weakness of mine), became an obsession...
The longer I was a part of it... the more I "wanted" and "needed" it.
It was a VERY dark place - an ALL CONSUMING one!
This man is a proud "Satanist" - I did not know this when entering into the relationship... but it was not at ALL a good place nor space. My instincts as a young mother, having my toddler surrounded by him and his antics and environment thankfully motivated me to leave.
THANK GOODNESS!!!!
Despite how much I tried to lie to myself and tell myself that I loved this man, I could NOT stomach my child growing up around that sort of thing!
It is a difficult thing for many to "get" if they have not lived "in it".
Really LOVE and appreciate your honesty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is precisely through these processes that we all heal, learn and grow!
MUCH love and respect!!!!!!!