Ahh, what a fascinating journey you've been on. A lot in this video resonated with me... here's a few things I liked:
My online persona was not me
This is something I've been growing increasingly aware of in myself, and I appreciate how concisely you put it here. It is a tendency in us all, I think, to attempt to show people who we want to be rather than who we are, but online in particular, I'm not sure we're capable of showing who we truly are... Even so, online and off, I think it is best to try to be true to ourselves as we are, not as we wish ourselves to be.
I lost sight of why
This is something I've seen coming up again and again, in myself and others. I get so caught up in what I'm doing, I forget why I'm doing it, and thus become vulnerable to being diverted to an end irrelevant or directly harmful to my original goal, or else wind up on some harebrained tangent when it becomes clear what I originally wanted doesn't make sense, but I forget to remember why I wanted it. Other times, I go into things without having fully crystallized in my mind why I'm doing it, or why it's a good idea.
A lot of shamans, when they get into this work, their ego gets a hold of them. You have to stay very, very humble
This is something I'm working through in my life now. Not from a shamanic perspective, of course, but I think it's true of anyone who pursues any advanced magic (or advanced study, for those unaccustomed to esoterica), whether it be in medicine, software, psychology, you name it. At some point you begin to realize that when they choose to be, human beings can become incredibly powerful, but with great power comes great responsibility. Ego, and arrogance, are focused on the small picture, and thus can do great harm to the whole in the name of optimizing the self, like the drowning man who tries to stay afloat by pushing his rescuer under -- if he succeeds, he kills himself and his rescuer alike.
... I could go on, but the tl;dr effect of this comment is waxing, though I've already pruned it quite a bit. Thank you for sharing this, though, it was fascinating to listen to and think about.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
-- Marianne Williamson
Being authentic, and living a rich life, supported by people that love me.