Welp, it's been a trial of trial and error, mostly error, but I have, I think, managed to meet the requirements for the contest.
I wanted to let you know your original contest post has changed my world. That may sound hyperbolic, but it's true nonetheless. My circumstances have changed dramatically in a year, and I hadn't realized it until I saw your post and spent a moment thinking back on what had changed.
It's pretty amazing.
Here's my entry to the contest.
Merry Christmas!