Until today I think that the topic of office romances has been a whole lot touchy and sensitive. I think that as much as possible, people try to steer clear and stay away from the subject but just as the case, it grows more and more observable and slowly becomes part of the norm. And why is that? Are we still denying the fact that it is really plausible or are we just hoping that we can neglect the fact that it is happening?
I don't get the people who get surprised or even shocked when two colleagues know each other a little too well. I mean, that's just logic, it's bound to happen and it has been like that even when we are at school. Back in school, classmates, blockmates will tend to develop feelings for each other can you see the resemblance of the situation? Don't act blind, it's clear. It's the time together, it's the activities you share together it's all those stuff that you do together.
Office romances aren't all that bad though, well as long as both participants are single and are available to mingle. But I think, the negative connotation that office romances have is "affair".
Most of the workers in the workforce are adults and a lot of us are already in relationships back from school, or already have a family when we get to a company. So being in an affair is just one misguided conversation away.
Let's get away from that negative notion of affair for a bit and let's look at office romance as it is.
Why Does It Happen?
Are you kidding me? To say it again, I guess one factor for an office romance to happen is the time people spend together. A normal office worker spends 9 hours, 5 days a week in the office. And for us not working with business hours, we are working on average 9 hours, 6 days a week. If you will sum this up and look at it a certain perspective. The majority of the waking hours of a working person are spent in the workplace. There's only so little time spent at home.
Nowadays, that time even extends beyond clocking in and clocking out. With the power and the grasp of social media and the internet in our lives, we also talk to our colleagues well beyond those office hours. Imagine that, that's a long time to spend with a person. If you're familiar with the show Big Brother, then you know what staying with people can do.
In all those times you spend in the workplace, not all of those is spent working or focusing on tasks, there will be times that you will be forced to talk and converse with each other, and other offices will have more time for those chitchats compared to work time.
Another factor I think is having that shared interest. If you are working together, more often than not you are working in the same industry and that will be a huge thing to share. You both know the ins and outs of that thing and there will be a lot to talk about.
The Balance
Now let's try to look at it with objective eyes. I am going to make a mental board for office romance jotting down its pros and its cons. Is it really worth it?
Pros. You spend a lot of time with your partner if you are working in the same office. Aside from the time you spend together at work, you may spend time after office hours, and imagine the commute to and from work becoming less stressful cause you are together with the one you adore.
Cons. You spend SO much time together. As a general rule, everything that is too much is bad for you. The same goes for the time I guess. If you spend that much time together, getting annoyed with each other will be more frequent. Other people may even grow tired of seeing their partner all of those times. As proven time and time again, alone time is a really important part of any relationship.
Pros. You will know a lot about each other. You know how each other will react to certain situations, you know how each other is when it comes to dating, and you will also know how each other is when it comes to working. Some people may have different types of personalities or personas they emulate depending on the environment they are in. Knowing that is really an advantage for couples in relationships.
Cons. You know so damn much about each other. And in a relationship, knowing everything about your partner is a double-edged sword and most of the time it will prove to be derogative instead of being advantageous. Over familiarity is sometimes not beneficial to relationships. If you know too much about a person, one slight deviation from your perceive norms of his or hers will incite a petty argument that may or may not grow into complications.
Pros. The sneaking around, stolen kisses, and delightful glances. I don't what it is with us but I think you might agree with me that there is something even more thrilling with stolen moments than when you are in a private room with just the two of you. PDA wins. From the steamy moments shared in the breakroom, those simple touches as you brush with each other, and all the simultaneous and spontaneous field leaves that will just make your bosses scratch their heads.
- Cons. When the office romance crumbles down and ends in a breakup, it would be hell to pay. Every place is meaningful, everywhere you go you'll see him or her and that may affect your work in many aspects. That's also the reason why some companies discourage workplace romances. They almost always end bitterly. And even if one party moves out of the workplace, the memories may still linger and bother the one that's left. And of course one of the big CONS: The Gossips. Workplace romances tend to attract so much buzz around them that it disrupts the whole ecosystem in the office.
Conclusion
Well, those are just the pros and cons I can think of as of the moment, but I am sure that there are plenty more of those where it came from. Just like anything in the world, it has good and bad sides and it's up to the willing participants to decide whether the good outweighs the bad or vice versa. And the most important part I think in this sort of relationship is consent.
There are a lot of legalities involved in workplace relationships especially when the parties are from different ranks and positions. More of that in the next one I guess.
**Resources: **
Image 1: https://nypost.com/2020/08/30/can-i-start-an-office-romance-while-working-from-home/
Image 2: https://torontosun.com/life/relationships/the-realities-of-office-romances