Have you ever seen writing by Nyerere of Tanzania? He translated Shakespeare into Kiswahili and was a teacher. However, when he wrote for the people, he did not write in the manner you used above. He used simple words, more interested in being understood than in showing off.
This way of writing is prevalent in South Africa also, many even talk this way. The result? Not even highly educated people understand what was said.
Do yourself a favour: Re-write what you wrote above, as if you are writing it for your seven year old son. Then ask ten adults to read both copies. Which do you think they will understand and argue the merits? This one? I think not. To debate an argument, we must clearly understand it, or else we feel we are not qualified to speak, and keep quiet.
Didn't you write the article with the hope that you would be understood, that it would achieve something for the children?
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The problem of education is not only Nigerian. Not even African. It is a problem in all countries - even the United States. Populations have exploded - I remember reading about 15 years ago, the Kenya government said that if they create one school of 800 children PER DAY, they cannot keep up.
Stop looking to WHO and other crappy institutions. They are made up of people who do not really care, they just enjoy the high salary and prestige of their job.
Try to think as an African.
I have certain thoughts on this subject, but I will only expand on them if you really are interested. Let me know, if you are.
However, i talked more about Nigeria(as written in my topic) as a case factor.I'm always open to ideas so i can get better @arthur.grafo.
I live here and i thought to address a problem in my writing, using my niche(my country) as a case study.
I would appreciate more ideas or augmentation on the subject perhaps many more will benefit as they read and understand. I also believe that's the utmost intention of every "quality writer" here on steemit.
I'm sorry, but I can see we do not understand each other. Why can't you write in plain English? For instance:
What does that mean?
To augment means to increase. How do you increase the subject?
As for
No, that is not true. I do not try to write using complicated words, I write as simply as I can.
Get yourself a book written by Ernest Hemingway, one of the major authors of our time and read his stories. He writes in plain words, where there is a word and its simple alternative, he always uses the simple word. Your job as a writer, as I told you before, is to be understood, it is not, or should not be your intention to write in complex ways so as to prove how well educated you are.
I can understand you writing the way you do, if it is a document being submitted to a government department and you want to be certain they are impressed by your article, while also not able to understand it. But what you are doing is working against you when you write for the public.
Just look on this page, at the difference in the way I write to you and the way you write - I have a feeling I am wasting my time, for you are not going to try to understand the points I am making, because you are proud of the way you can write and cannot even imagine simple being better.
I really appreciate your time here.
Many would just pass.
I need more corrections on writing better most importantly to be understood.
I'll also look out for the book you referred.
I think i understand your point.
But, can i also have you on discord for direct mentoring on writings.?
I'll have to check about getting on there, as I do not like the way they send me ten emails a day, without reason, so I cancelled my registration there.
Your above message was a huge improvement.
I took the time to go to your home page to examine more of your posts. While there, I did a follow - mostly because I have a rotten memory and wanted to have a way to find you.
I see your name is Frank - mine is Alex and, as I mentioned, I live in South Africa. Originally I come from Kenya and Tanzania. I am in my mid-seventies, so that means I am a little bit older than you :)
I may sound impatient sometimes, but keep in mind that I never have or will deliberately hurt anyone. Nor do I think I am special in any way. My comments about language are because of my love for the language (I am not English, I am Greek), and I've spent a million years living on other worlds (in other words, I have always loved reading books).
I have found that 95% of people who use difficult words, not only sound pretentious and unfriendly, but also cannot be understood because they often use words in ways that are wrong. I'll give you an example: the heading in your post uses the word
CIRCUMSPECT
Do you know what it means? It means 'discreet' which means, according to the dictionary: "Heedful of potential consequences". In other words, if I learn something about you that could embarrass or cause you harm, if I am discreet, I will keep quiet.
If you are writing for friends and the general public, try to use only simple words, but if you feel that a specific comment needs to be explained with a difficult word, make certain you know what it means.
Some quick examples from what I've seen, to illustrate what I am saying"
Frank, I have a love for poetry and I enjoy helping newbies. Because of this, I have met a number of posters from Nigeria, who write poetry. They have creative images, but they almost always, spoil the poem because they forced complicated words into their poem so as to make it sound better, more clever or educated. If the word is wrong or does not belong in the poem, it spoils the poem.
Check what I've said and if you read carefully, you'll see what I mean.
Ok, cool!
I get your point exactly.
I've added this as I want to mention again something I said that you ignored.
I said: Try to think as an African
Countries all over the world are short of money because they waste it on armies, fighter jets etc.
to look to them for solving problems with educating children, is a waste of time.
In the old days, the men did the hunting and watching their cattle and so n, or else they sat with friends and drank beer and talked. The women mostly did a little bit of farming. The children needed to learn how to live safely. Often it was the grandparents who taught them.
So, are there any older people, what we call pensioners, who are struggling to make ends meet, but they have a skill or knowledge (for instance, they can read or do simple arithmetic)?
For children who are not going to be offered any education, would it not be good if these elders teach them? In return, perhaps a church would pay for a meal to be provided to the elder teachers, while it means the elders also have company and feel useful.
Children need to be taught morals and skills. Almost an unlimited number of skills can be taught. How to fix a bicycle, a puncture, how to work with wood, how to sow and repair clothes...use your imagination.
That was just an idea for you to play with. Teachers are expensive and not that easy to find. Use those with experience and skills to help the children and your costs will be very small. Maybe, for some lucky children, they will benefit by feeling the old person cares for them, and they will also care for the elder, as if he/she is a grandparent. Both sides benefit!
Awesome idea.
And this:
Well noted too.
Are you also implying that i edit my work?
Not the above. Once you have made the post, the header cannot be changed.
Just an idea. I prepare my post, re-read it, go make a coffee, talk on the phone, read, whatever, or even prepare the next post. After a couple of hours with my mind on other things, I return to read once more and make corrections. I am always surprised by how many mistakes I find.
I am glad you liked my idea. Another idea that is being used by others here, they have convinced a major supermarket chain to finance an orphanage, for them to have a small field for teaching the kids how to grow food using some modern methods. The food must not be GMO and no pesticides or other poisons should be used and the seeds should be taken/bought from small villages, far from GMO farms. This makes it possible for the shop to sell the produce as organic. The orphanage also arranges for the older kids, say a group of 4 or 5 to be employed for getting a vegetable garden started in the backyard of those who want their own organic food. This way, the kids can start their own business and earn money, while helping people to feed their own families food that is healthy.