All at some time or another of our lives we have run into that kind of person who disguises himself as a victim to get our attention. They are people who use complaint and lament to obtain the emotional attention they need and impose their wills. Victimization in the way of emotional manipulation more common.
This kind of people hide behind their vote to not take responsibility for anything. Everything that can happen is always the fault of others. They are unable to reflect and analyze their actions and their relationship with their environment, locking themselves in their role as victims.
The truth is that the person who is victimized by a problem of emotional maturity. Surely in his childhood, the background technique for the attention of others. It is a childish and immature strategy used in adulthood to continue to get the attention of others.
How do they do that?
Deforming reality. These people really believe that the fault of the things that happens to them is far from them; that is, it belongs to others. His problem is that he has a notion of distortion of reality, believing that everything comes from a cause of external circumstances.
Lamenting and seeking consolation later. Someone has lost the circumstances and "has no power to do anything" to change them, these people only have to seek consolation in their lament; which, even generates a certain pleasure (for the compassion and prominence that gives them).
Permanently looking guilty. This type of person usually develops a somewhat paranoid and hypersensitive attitude, believing that others try to harm them and feeling permanently mistreated even in the smallest detail.
Convincing himself of his lack of guilt. They have very little self-criticism and, therefore, do not tolerate the criticism of others. For them, the mistakes of others are intolerable but their own, nonexistent.
Using a victim victim. His speech is mainly based on disqualifying the argument of others, making the other assume the role of attacker. Achieving putting ourselves in the same role as the victim, avoiding responsibilities and without recognizing their mistakes.
Manipulating emotionally These people - more or less conscious - play with the emotions of others to leave everything in their favor and remain as victims. You can even use the empathy that can cause us to see a "victim" of something.
How do they do that?
Deforming reality. These people truly believe that the fault of the things that happen to them is far from them; that is, it belongs to others. His problem is that he has a distorted notion of reality, believing that everything comes from external circumstances.
Lamenting and seeking consolation later. By believing themselves to be permanent victims of circumstances and "without being able to do anything" to change them, these people only have to seek consolation in their lament; which, even generates a certain pleasure (for the compassion and prominence that gives them).
Permanently looking guilty. This type of person usually develops a somewhat paranoid and hypersensitive attitude, believing that others are trying to harm them and feeling permanently mistreated down to the smallest detail.
Convincing himself of his lack of guilt. They have very little self-criticism and, therefore, do not tolerate the criticism of others. For them, the mistakes of others are intolerable but their own, nonexistent.
Using a victimist rhetoric. His speech is mainly based on disqualifying the argument of others, making the other assume the role of attacker. They achieve this by putting themselves in the role of victim, avoiding responsibilities and without recognizing their mistakes.
Manipulating emotionally These people - more or less conscious - play with the emotions of others to leave everything in their favor and remain as victims. They can even use the empathy that can cause us to see a "victim" of something.
What to do before a "victim"?
Realizing that we are dealing with this type of people is the first step.
Resist their techniques and not fall into the game. How? Making him see that we are not the object of his lamentations nor are we willing to listen to them permanently. This does not imply not helping them; rather, offer them practical and practical help without having to listen to their continuous complaints.
Do not feel guilty If we are really facing a victim, it is most likely that we are not to blame for their laments; therefore, complaining is simply his way of being in the world (therefore, it is his responsibility). Therefore, we do not allow ourselves to download their dose of negativity in us.
Invite them and help them take charge of themselves. Showing your mistakes yourself can be difficult but not impossible if we do it with affection and not from criticism. If a very difficult task is done, propose the option of consulting with a specialist (psychologist, psychiatrist, etc.).
Do it for them. Although they often exaggerate their circumstances or accommodate their role as victims, these people do not have a good time because truly -from the bottom of their hearts- they believe and live their role. Do not play the same thing and simply complain about them or be an accomplice more than life pass them by without being able to enjoy it. It is the greatest favor you can give them