Self Esteem

Sometimes, people don't even realize that they're thinking so
negatively about themselves. But once you're aware of it, and
know that the way you think is up to you, you can begin to
change the way you think. And changing the way you think
about yourself changes the way you feel about yourself.
So if you want to feel better about yourself, try some of these
things:

(1) Manage your inner critic. Notice the critical things you say to
yourself. Would you talk to a best friend like that? A harsh
inner voice just tears us down. If you're in the habit of
thinking self-critically, re-train yourself by rewording these
negative unkind thoughts into more helpful feedback.

(2) Focus on what goes well for you. Are you so used to
focusing on your problems that they're all you see? Next time
you catch yourself dwelling on problems or complaints about
yourself or your day, find something positive to counter it.
Each day, write down three good things about yourself, and/
or three things that went well that day because of your action
or effort.

(3) Aim for effort rather than perfection. Some people get held
back by their own pressure to be perfect. They lose out
because they don't try. If you think, "I won't audition for the
play because I probably won't get the lead," it's guaranteed
that role will go to someone else.

(4) View mistakes as learning opportunities. Accept that you will
make mistakes. Everyone does. They're part of learning.
Instead of thinking, "I always mess up" remind yourself that
it's not about always, just this specific situation. What can
you do differently next time?

(5) Edit thoughts that get you feeling inferior. Do you often
compare yourself with others and come up feeling less
accomplished or less talented? Notice what you're thinking.
Something like: "She's so much better than I am. I'm no good
at basketball. I should just stop playing" leads to feeling
inferior, not to feeling good about yourself.

(6) Remind yourself that everyone excels at different things.
Focus on what you do well, and cheer on others for their
success. Thinking more like this: "She's a great basketball
player — but the truth is, I'm a better musician than athlete.
Still, I'll keep playing because I enjoy it." helps you accept
yourself and make the best of the situation.

(7) Try new things, and give yourself credit. Experiment with
different activities to help you get in touch with your talents.
Then take pride in your new skills. Think about the good
results. For example: I signed up for track and found out I'm
pretty fast! These positive thoughts become good opinions of
yourself, and add up to self-esteem.

(8) Recognize what you can change and what you can't. If you
realize that you're unhappy with something about yourself
that you can change (like getting to a healthy weight), start
today. If it's something you can't change (like your height),
work on accepting it. Obsessing about our "flaws" can really
skew your opinion.