Good job. 10 years is a lot of first days, a lot of good choices, a lot of temptations avoided, and a lot of demons faced. I don't care if you're Eminem, Slim Shady, or any person out there. Life is hard. Good choices are just as hard. Congratulations.
You sound like you're on the right path, and I think you'll surprise yourself with what your capable of one day.
A) Being able to recognize source(s) of emotional difficulty; B) As well as having an understanding of the motivational forces behind one's actions, thoughts, and behaviors - This is what psychologists use to gauge how insiteful a patient is when getting to know their strengths and weaknesses, and you have both attributes friend.
I believe in you. One day you'll fight the good fight and win man, I hope things look up for you soon. Much love, from a junkie.