So, next week i will be having my passport. What could hold me back at that point?
Nothing will.
I will not waver: Being in pain or dying while being homeless in southamerica would still be vastly preferable to me at this point over living here in germany among the type of people that live here.
But what factors are there?
I mentioned i meant to go for over a decade. Partially due to lower costs of living elsewhere initially, i did see certain issues for just about 20 years though.
I am adventurous in a sense. Ran a hobbyist chem-lab in my teens, built a high voltage cascade that id plug into mains power and it'd convert the 230V alternating current to a few thousand volts direct current. Why? No reason. Just for fun. With all neccessary precautions, of course.
All of that is fine, i can be creative and productive but this was always with me being able to step back, return to base, it may not be needed, but what i am not usually doing is making decisions from which there is no coming back.
I see the need to act, and i will, after all in total ive received 505€ from people now under the promise to take it and escape to southamerica with it.
And i am nothing if not a man of my word.
With my now fairly limited funds my flight will be a point of no return.
What do i have to fear?
Well, with my limited funds i may end up homeless, maybe even without the ability to remain in contact with you or anyone else.
I also suffer multiple sclerosis and more importantly related to it trigeminal neuralgia. I repeatedly said i regret not ending it all when the TGN started for i was doing well but the amount of pain i had to endure for the time i did was not worth it.
Well, that pain is starting to come back, i will eventually require an additional round of neurosurgery again.
Lets just say that type of pain is way to strong to be treated even with fentanyl or way stronger pain than during childbirth (except it was eventually 24/7 before treatment) and you might have an idea. Which actually caused some physicians to suggest i might just be trying to abuse substances, before we figured out what it was (or, i did by reading the medical papers and confirmed by the treatments working - unless you are so far gone as to suggest they would do neurosurgery on me while it is not clear that i am correct) but no, TGN needs more specific treatment such as specific drugs and neurosurgery.
That TGN and losing contacts or my data are my main fears at this point.
I will not waver: Being in pain or dying while being homeless over there would still be vastly preferable to me at this point over living here in germany among the type of people that are surrounding me.
While especially my physical pain from my TGN growing back is pulling strong on me - and maybe incapacitating me a good portion of my time again, ill see through that i get out of here. And soon. Real soon.
My Wallets:
Bitcoin: bc1qqk506f2cgmqtw0k7tk5jxna2m3w2vde0vxrhle
Ethereum: 0x43A27d130069f8D0D539E70Bd9E04bE36BEE9Da4
Monero: 86j3eTJyJup1yfxfQwJfb52bubPLGUSvZNiaXjHYSYAqVaExqHz4fwMFhtuQVBd3HRUsmP9ED1Ebk6Grf6UNd7ED5oZhnvf
Doge: DGkYzp1m3rE4NG8ktEyXLjsGrKwjbcB1q5
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