Ohhh the wonderful blame game. It is hard to see past it some times. And see the human I love in there. But I can't give up. Medications are weird though....I have PTSD haha weird that's I'd be with a BPD lol but they gave me antibiotics psychotics to try and treat my PTSD. Along with 6 other medications. I gave them up three weeks in. It made me worse and physically I'll. I lost vision and motor skills and as an artist that's the biggest nope I'm done ever. So I forced the crap out of myself to learn cognitive behavioral therapy. And to do it every day. And to help retrain my brain to be better. And so far it's worked. I have the anxiety but really it's all in your head. Especially PTSD. I tip toe for myself I can walk on glass for him
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Glad to see you didn't fall into the medication trap... I was talking about this earlier today in fact. I really think that the medications kinda help but really just make it so you never really deal with the problem on your own and come to a working solution.
Well it also helped that I was getting sober from alcohol at the time too. It clicked in my mind that literally if I wanted to mask what I was dealing with then I should just keep drinking. I had a pill to keep me from physically reacting to dreams. Another to make me sleep another to deal with anxiety another for my nerves for alcohol another for depression....it was ridiculous. I'm three years so and have faced what I was hiding from the entire time. So I felt no need for the medication. But I really feel like they do try to trap you or just test crap on you.
Yes drinking definitely aggravates the problems..
I didn't learn that until 10 years after my daughter passed. But I think all of what I have been through has gotten me to the point of a well off level mind with a little more wisdom than I needed just yet. But it brings it full circle back to being aware. Or even becoming aware
I can definitely relate... it is a neverending path of becoming more aware.
The beauty of being alive aye?
Indeed