Disgusted with my name, I am annoyed also with the parents,
they just want to name the child. Suppose the kids
left unnamed to large enough to choose his own name,
naming himself. There is no need for an ancestor. No idol movie stars
parents. There is no dead man named Bag'us who lives again and again. Not
there are the nature of referrals, wishes and expectations, or suggestions from botanist friends.
No description, no meaning. I never wanted to refer myself from
my name, see me in my name. Blessed are the Javanese.
How lucky they are, not to be surnamed,
bring family, names, have them instead often just one word
briefly, su-this su-it su-something-so simple, just on
him. I'm going to have to haul things everywhere: clan, name
family, father lineage, long series of history. Sticked on
behind two my name. Like a shadow, out long from the sole of the foot,
dropping the black body to the ground, dragged footsteps.
Shadows, which follow along the way.
MY MOTHER dreamed of me, a strange dream, she did not tell me
but to my sister. My brother did not want to tell me, and
Actually he is holding a big secret, that behavior
which just made me curious. He and his big secret, then gave up
when I bribed his son with a new bag. Laila was excited
half dead and hugged me many times when one day it opened
the gift wrapped neatly and pulled out the picture bag Elmo and Monster
Cookies who are laughing. The bag she wore went to the play group.
Maybe my brother was touched, he then told me my mother's dream. His voice
sounds frightened, my sister said one night; we watch quiz show
on the tivi, I sat next to him, feeling like winning the quiz on
tivi.
I appeared small in the dream, a little boy. My mother was looking for me,
clan found me sitting in a garden, butterflies and bees
flying around me. lies in the flowers, and I sit on
a small bench, maybe it's a playground, because lots of little kids
running around here and there. Mother came dabbing my hair, braids two,
ribbon, my shirt black and white kindergarten. And I'm eating flowers,
entering one after another through my lips, flowers of color, sari
sucked honey tasted my mouth. My mother was surprised to see me eat
flower. But Mom was startled when she saw my arm. Lots of tattoos, green blue,
birds, trees, clouds-seoiah landscape landscape spilled
silent on the surface of my skin. Not only in the arms, also seen in the neck, legs.
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