For the first eight years of my daughter's life, my friends and I would constantly joke about the fact that MJ couldn't stand me.
When she was a baby, she didn't want to be held by me. When she was a toddler, she didn't walk to me. When she entered kindergarten, she didn't want to tell me about her day. She didn't even want to sit by me on the couch to watch "My Little Pony" (which is actually a pretty clever show filled with pop culture references).
Why would I want to joke about something so horrible and sad?
It's because I left out the rest of the story. You see, it's really not that she couldn't stand me, she just LOVES her mom far more than me. She loves my wife more than anything in this world.. or any other world for that matter. I can't blame her. Moms and dads are a team that hopefully compliment each other. To kids, moms are the physical embodiment of love. Dads are the guys who watch them when mom finally gets to have a night of drinking wine and watching the movie "Bad Moms" with her friends.
Obviously I'm exaggerating... but hopefully you get the point that I know my daughter loves me.
She just loves her mom significantly more. Please don't worry about me though. I also know that parenting is a marathon. I'm anticipating the roles reversing for a brief period of time between the ages of fourteen and twenty. So I have that going for me... which is nice.
Last week, I posted a story about my son Timmy's Tee-Ball incident ... and his subsequent artistic rendering of the event. After posting it, my daughter asked, "Are you going to do one with a picture I drew?" I assured her that I would (especially since she was actually talking to me... I didn't want to blow what might be my only chance).
One picture immediately came to mind. Two years ago, MJ was given an assignment to draw a picture of what she would bring with her to a desert island. Here is what she drew:
Ok let's take a closer look at what my seven year old daughter thought was most important in her life.
On the far right, she drew her mom of course. She's really pretty isn't she? It's not every day you find a woman whose waist is as small as her eye! MJ then drew herself standing as close to her mom as possible. Both of them are smiling. Next, she included her dresser full of clothes. Which is actually pretty smart. You want to be clean and look fresh for your rescue. To the left of the dresser is my son Timmy. He appears to have no mouth. Perhaps my daughter was hoping he'd be quiet and leave her alone... I'm pretty sure not even a lack of a mouth would stop him. It is important to note that during the time period in which MJ drew this, she routinely referred to my son as "The meaniest, meany, who ever lived". We found it beautiful that she included him despite his "meaniness". Now that is love! Next, she sketched a picture of her favorite stuffed animal at the time: Olaf from the movie Frozen. This too made sense. We all know he loves beaches. Furthermore, he could provide entertainment and snow cones... if you are willing to overlook where he got them. Finally she drew her bed with a nice soft fluffy pillow. Again, she showed how smart she is. It's important to be comfortable and to get a good night's sleep. But wait. Was there something missing? Was there more on the back? Nope.
I happened to be home the day she drew this. After my wife picked her up and they returned home, all three of us sat at the kitchen table. "Look what I drew Mommy!", MJ exclaimed. Hmmmm I was sitting right there! She could have at least thrown in a curtesy "and Daddy"... but alas I was meant to suffer. I suppose it's my lot in life. After my wife looked at it and appropriately praised our daughter, I asked to see it. I immediately wanted to burst out laughing but I was already on thin ice with my daughter. I didn't want to add "he laughs at my drawings" to my list of offenses. I composed myself and kindly asked her about the picture. "Ooo what's this? Who is that? It's very smart to bring a bed so you can be comfortable.", I said. Things were going well. She was talking to me. I had laid the groundwork for the big question. "Where am I?", I asked. She quickly responded, "I didn't have time to draw you." To be honest, I was actually just relieved that she didn't say, "Of look at the bottom left in the sand. That is your skull. We ate and buried you." (As it turns out, the thing in the sand is a shell... not my skull.)
I nodded my head and replied, "Ok. It's a beautiful drawing. Should we hang it on the refrigerator?" She responded. "I want to hang it up with Mommy." Curses! Of course she did.
As the two of them carefully hung up this masterpiece, I chuckled to myself. I couldn't wait to take a picture and show my friends. She had time to draw her mean brother, a stuffed Olaf, a bed, and a freaking dresser... but no time for dad. Oh yeah, she also drew a shell.
I love my daughter and I know she loves me. This picture never made me doubt that for a second. What it does do is make me laugh every time I look at it. This drawing also serves as a reminder of one very important thing to remember about being a parent:
Do not expect to be thanked
Being a dad is my job. In fact, it is my most important responsibility. I'm expected to do it well. In life, you don't get thanked for meeting your expectations. Do you go to work and get thanked every day for showing up and doing what is expected? Nope. I don't expect to get thanks for doing my job as a dad. My reward will come if my kids end up leading fulfilling and happy lives.
By the way, I did tell my daughter how to respond if anyone asked, "Where's your dad?" She should simply say, "He's off getting a boat to save all of us."
Love star wars yahoo!
@hanshotfirst , I can't remember when last I enjoyed a post like this one. I have 6 and 2 year old daughters... Mom's always comes first :)
And this week my challenge is : Mom and the 2 year old went to the seaside ...
Dad and the 6 year old stayed home for work and school. She is the lead dancer in their school play, hence staying with me .. So this week is ... Take-aways, movie-night, then take-aways , then movie-night, then take-aways :)
Congrats on the lead dancer! Sounds like you have a fun week planned! I bet she remembers this week when she's grown. Enjoy!!!
Thank you so much for posting this for me gavvet. I truly enjoy working with you.
@hanshotfirst This story made me laugh so hard. Relieved that it is indeed a seashell on the bottom left and not your skull!! LOL. Thanks for sharing this story.
Oh god i don´t know if i want to laugh or cry, yes ,
I'm going to laugh....
Great post!
Oh laugh. Always laugh. Parenting is hialrious!
sweet story.
I can relate to the sitting down and looking comfortable. It just like every other relations in life. I try to hang out with my son and he walks away , but i leave him alone and start reading, he's all over me.
Me
Star wars is amazing , like all charcters
Yoda
Vader
Obi wan
Qui gon jin
Han solo
Hilarious! This is exactly what happened to me when I was wrtingin that story!
Its the human condition. When someone moves on, you want them back. When they want to be with you, you can't wait to get away.
That is why I am afraid of getting daughters, or even kids! Thanks for the good read!
There's a huge upside... otherwise the human race would have died out. LOL
Hello @gavvet,
Family life is somethimes challenging but it is all worth it in the end of the day.
My family is what keeps me motivated and being the best me that I could be. I love them with all of my heart and after reading your post I will tell that to them more often.
Keep up the good posts, I enjoy reading them!
Have a great day :)
Thanks! Can never tell them "I love you" too much!
Thanks for sharing that with us all! I know exactly where you're coming from. My boys love their mum more than me but as you say our time will come. Maybe it's different with boys anyway. As dads we can do stuff that mums can't or just don't want to do and in time for me anyway I think the natural balance will be found in our relationships with our kids.
If we play the long game, we'll all get our turn as the favorite... I hope.
Jajaja, I have been charmed with the description of the drawing, very funny.
The daughters and the parents ... hereinafter your problems will come when your daughter begins to go out of party with his friends, the moment most been afraid by the parents ... for the present he enjoys his innocence, In spite of the fact that it does not have time to include yourself in his drawings.
I don't even want to think about it yet. Lol
Being a dad of daughter, I understand you perfectly, Gavvet. Thank you! ;-)
Usually daughter has a tender feel to the father and the son to the mother. If your children hate you - it means you raised them wrong, didn't pay attention to them and did not give warmth.
I think you may have misunderstood the post. My daughter loves me. It was a funny story
@kalimor--it's written tongue-in-cheek. His daughter does not hate him. Shes' developmentally quite on target. It is quite healthy and common for children to attach to one parent, even at the exclusion of another. @hanshotfirst is making fun of this VERY NORMAL phenomenon that EVERY parent endures. He's very obviously a darling daddy. You can't miss it. UPVOTED. and FOLLOWED.
Interesting post, thank @gavvet and @hanshotfirst !:)
Steemon
Cool Post
Interesting, honest post! Thank you.
"He's off getting a boat to save all of us." Sooooo awesome. And the "meaniest meany." I can't get over it. Sooo hilarious. I've got a 7-year-old. I hear you...although, I'm the mom, so I'm the one she attaches to. Adorable story. Thanks for posting!
Great post and my husband relates to this in a smaller way - both my girls are "mummies" girls, but I put this down to the fact that I was the stay at home mum and dad was the work away dad. It will change when she becomes a teenager and needs to go places and wants things....
She loves you , but my mother for my daughter will always be close . I also have a daughter , she was 8 years old . I married a second time , the daughter does not know that my husband is not really her father . But she was madly in love with him. It is for her most beloved dad in the world! Sometimes I 'm jealous of her for it) ) )