Hoy, 18 de enero de 2024, se cumplen 11 años de aquel día que mi papá me cito en un bar para almorzar. Nosotros ya hacia un tiempo no vivíamos juntos y no teníamos la mejor relación... con mucho esfuerzo habiamos logrado mantener el contacto, pero era algo superficial, y se limitaba a nosotros. No existía una familia.
Almorzamos, parecía que todo estaba bien, pero en realidad estaba todo tenso. Cuando estábamos terminando de comer mi papá me dice, está en camino algo muy chiquito... y yo le pregunté si la casa no era muy chica para tener dos perros. ¿Claro, yo tenía 20 años...Cómo iba a imaginar que lo muy chiquito que estaba en camino era un hermanito?
Me enoje muchísimo, me daba rabia que mi papá sea tan egoísta de traer un bebé al mundo a sus 55 años. ¡¡Me enojaba pensar en qué tipo de relación iba a tener yo con esa persona por nacer... y cuando creí que era suficiente, mi hermana también embarazada!! Mi papá y mi hermana esperando familia el mismo mes, locura. Todas mis estructuras, cayéndose... y yo no me creí una persona muy estructurada hasta ese momento.
El tiempo paso y no fue feliz, yo no pude ver a la mamá embarazada ni compartir nada de ese proceso, no sé si quería la verdad, estaba enfrentando mis propios demonios... es tema para otro post.
El 8 de julio de 2013 nació Jano. No les voy a mentir diciendo que ese día todo cambió, porque no fue así. La vida siguió igual, y ahora peor... tenía un hermano y no lo podía ver, no podía compartir con él. Hasta que me cansé y tome cartas en el asunto, hable con la madre, hable con mi papá, y me acerque a tratar de conocer a ese chico. Y fue magnético. No tengo la creencia de que compartir ADN supone amor, pero lo que pasó con Jano, no lo puedo poner en palabras. En julio de 2015 lo empecé a cuida y a partir de ahí, y para siempre, se convirtió en mi mejor amigo.
Jano vino a enseñarme a volver a disfrutar como niña, a celebrar de los pequeños pasos y a disfrutar de las pequeñas cosas. Con el volví a conectarme con la naturaleza y los animales. También vino a enseñarme a cambiar pañales y a tener paciencia. A jugar, a cocinar, a ver mil veces la misma peli y mil veces reírnos de la misma escena.
Jano es un nene dulce, sensible, inteligente, curioso…siempre me dice.. em Juli, sabes qué? y tira un dato random... o me pregunta cosas que es imposible que sepa, entonces buscamos juntos la respuesta y aprendemos algo nuevo. Jano tiene una huerta y cría mariposas monarcas. Jano es creatividad, aprendió a hacer origami a tejer, a dibujar y a pulir piedras. Jano es todos los días una sorpresa y un gran compañero de vida.
Jano me regaló mil cositas hechas por el que atesoro. Pero lo más importante que me regalo es una familia.
**ENGLISH VERSION **
Today, January 18, 2024, is the 11th anniversary of the day my dad met me at a bar for lunch. We had not lived together for some time and we did not have the best relationship... with a lot of effort we had managed to maintain contact, but it was superficial, and it was limited to us. There was no family.
We had lunch, it seemed that everything was fine, but in reality everything was tense. When we were finishing lunch my dad told me, something very small was on the way... and I asked him if the house wasn't too small to have two dogs. Of course, I was 20 years old... How could I imagine that the very small thing that was on the way was a little brother?
I was so angry that my dad was so selfish to bring a baby into the world at 55 years old, I was angry to think about what kind of relationship I was going to have with that person to be born... and when I thought it was enough, my sister was pregnant too!!!! My dad and sister expecting family the same month, crazy. All my structures, falling down... and I didn't think I was a very structured person until that moment.
Time went by and it wasn't happy, I couldn't see mom pregnant or share any of that process, I don't know if I wanted the truth, I was facing my own demons... that's a topic for another post.
On July 8, 2013, Jano was born. I am not going to lie to you by saying that everything changed that day, because it did not. Life continued the same, and now worse... I had a brother and I could not see him, I could not share with him. Until I got tired and took matters into my own hands, I talked to the mother, I talked to my dad, and I went over to try to get to know this boy. And it was magnetic. I don't have a belief that sharing DNA implies love, but what happened with Jano, I can't put into words. In July 2015 I started caring for him and from then on, and forever, he became my best friend.
Jano came to teach me to enjoy myself as a child again, to celebrate the small steps and to enjoy the little things. With him I reconnected with nature and animals. He also came to teach me to change diapers and to be patient. To play, to cook, to watch the same movie a thousand times and laugh a thousand times at the same scene.
Jano is a sweet, sensitive, intelligent, curious boy... he always says to me... em Juli, you know what? and he throws a random piece of information... or he asks me things that I can't possibly know, then we look for the answer together and learn something new. Jano has a vegetable garden and raises monarch butterflies. Jano is creative, he learned to make origami, to weave, to draw and to polish stones. Jano is a surprise every day and a great companion in life.
Jano gave me a thousand little things made by him that I treasure. But the most important thing he gave me is a family.
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Hermoso lo que escribiste.
Te amo 💜🌈
Te amo mucho tambien