Yes, finally I'm married! I was able to find a man who accepted my past and definitely my child....

photo taken at Philippine Embassy, Abu Dhabi, UAE

Who would have thought that a single man will be attracted to a single-mom? What is the basic reactions of a man to a single woman yet with additional baggage--kids? Reality check, it's a little bit awkward to discuss it but nowadays, this reality are accepted by the community. Dating a single mom is a whole different ball game compared to dating a single woman without kids. A single woman may make you look like the sole important person in her life, but when entering into a relationship with a single mom, you know that she’s already got her little superstars! There’s no two ways about it; if you’re dating a single mom, you either accept her kids and take it to the next level, or realize it’s not for you and move on before it’s too late. Kids can really change the dynamics in a relationship; whether for better or worse, depends a lot upon how you handle things!

In fairness with my so called husband he knows where his position is. For us (single-mom) the first thing we will observe is how you deal with our kids.

Image Source

If you want to have a big impact in our lives, you better know how to get the kid's heart. Believe me you won't fake it, the child knows if you are sincere or not and their behavior towards you are the answer if your dating period will last or ends. Luckily I am, ours lasted.

Moreover, there are some factors to consider dating a Single-Mom:

Accept second place
For any mom, her kids will always occupy center stage in her heart and life, and you’ll have to find a way to be okay with that. This, of course, doesn’t mean that you’ll always be invisible when her kids are around, but it does mean that she’ll give up a date with you in favor of a sick child, and just ask yourself, do you really want to be with a woman who does otherwise?
Be civil with the Ex
If the lady in question is a divorcee and her ex lives in the same area, chances are that he features prominently in her kids’ lives, especially if they have a shared custody arrangement. He might come around to pick up the kids and drop them off, and we agree, this creates a less than ideal situation for you! But finding a way to be nice about the whole thing is critical to ensure a good working relationship with the kids and less stress for the mom.
Be honest
With a single mom, don’t even bother lying, she can see right through you. Remember, she’s most probably been there, done that and thrown it out! And she doesn’t have the mind space or energy to deal with it all over again. So skip the mind games and the pointless playing around; get to the point and lay your cards on the table. That’s how she prefers it.
Time is important
When you’re dating a single mom, you have to be prepared for a good deal of cancellation of plans. Kids are very unpredictable creatures, especially the younger ones, and the best laid plans can be brought to a halt by something as small as a tempter tantrum! Don’t put the blame of this on her, saying that you were able to make time while she didn’t. She is working real hard to make things work, and you don’t know the half of it!
Be absolutely sure
As we’ve already mentioned several times, dating a single mom is NOT going to be like the other girls you’ve dated previously. Be sure you know what you’re getting into, else just stay away. Don’t waste your, and more importantly, her time if you don’t think you can accept her child as part of your relationship. You need to understand that by diving in halfheartedly, you’re messing things up for not just two, but more people, including those with impressionable little hearts.
Reference

INSECURITIES OF A SINGLE-MOM VS. SINGLE MAN

Image Source

There are so many insecurities of a single-mom that we tried to hide to our man so it won't be noticed. Of course, who would like to show your weakness? We don't want to be manipulated for the second time around. Below are some examples that I portrait and experience. However, this might not be implied to others, some might agree and some may not.

● Self-confidence

It's very shaky when a single man will introduce you to his families or friends. It's a nerve cracking feeling, ever! Of course, what will be their first reaction when they found out that their son is dating a single-mom? Ridiculous right? Some might be offended, some might disagree. Of all women out there why on earth you became attracted to a single-mom? Truth hurts, a lot and we have to deal with it everyday. We cannot be sensitive in that idea because that's reality. I remember when my husband had our first date, I thought it' just an ordinary date., but it's not! I wasn't informed that I'll be meeting his family---mother, father and the siblings. I was not prepared but I have to carry on. In fairness to them, they aren't like that. I am totally lucky!

First date in Racks Mall of Asia, Philippines

● Meeting Friends and Ex's

We cannot avoid to meet their friends, including EX's who became part of his life. Friends are ok but Ex's? Its weird. At the back of your mind for sure their talking like, "is that's her? what did he likes from her?" Ohh brat! Hahaha c'mon for sure we do that to our friends too once in a lifetime. It's okay, stay calm. Besides, whatever they'll say you got your boyfriends/husbands back. Don't allow them to chew your positivity. Instead, talk to them and let them feel how sincere you are to their friend, sooner or later, you'll catch up anyway.

● To be left behind

Weary is our everyday clothes while dealing with single men. Of course, sooner or later he'll realize that what we have is not totally what he wants. What if he realize he can't be an instant father to my child, what if he found another girl? A single woman. What if he's just playing around and I'm just his past time? There are so many what if's and honestly no one can answer it but him. That is why I suggest before you invest your time with him make sure to clear everything from the very first start. Learn how to read and understand body actions, learn to interpret their words correctly. Sometimes, if we are over attached to someone we cannot see the negative side, balance your mind and your heart so you won't fall in a trap.

INTRODUCE MY KID TO THE FAMILY

This is not an easy task, I am so afraid when my husband who used to be my boyfriend back then asked me to bring my daughter in their house to meet his family. I was like seriously? I am not prepared and I don't know how to prepare. Of course, I don't like my child to feel like she's not accepted, I don't like her to feel she's not part of it and most importantly, I don't want to hear any negative comments from them. But how would I know if I wouldn't try? So I did and it was such a relief. No negative comments, they welcomed her like how they welcomed me.

HAPPY THREE

At last I can confidently say to my child we have a family of our own. Even though his not her real father, what matters most is how he acted like a real one. I am very lucky that he embraced my daughter like his own child. Not only that, he's helping me as well to support her emotionally, physically and financially. Finding a man like him is really rare and I thank God for answering my prayers. It was such a blessings!

How about you? Do you know someone who struggles the same as me? Share my stories and maybe she can adopt it too! If you like my post please give a like or you can re-steem as well, I'll definitely love it!

Have you voted your witness?
Consider casting your witness votes for @steemgigs (@surpassinggoogle), @precise, @cloh76.witness, @ausbitbank, @teamsteem, @gmuxx, and @curie who have been adding an invaluable contribution to the community.
And don't forget @blocktrades!!!
To cast your votes, just go to
https://steemit.com/~witnesses
Don't waste your time... Invest at SteemIt...

FROM SINGLE-MOM TO A WIFE(IT'S OFFICIAL!)

Yes, finally I'm married! I was able to find a man who accepted my past and definitely my child....

photo taken at Philippine Embassy, Abu Dhabi, UAE

First date in Racks Mall of Asia, Philippines

INTRODUCE MY KID TO THE FAMILY

HAPPY THREE