It is not so much do unto others as you would have them do unto you - as much as it is : do NOT do unto others as you would have them NOT do unto you. Anyone can blame, so from another's perspective, anyone can be at fault. Get to a place where you can appreciate the other's point of view, which should not be too hard IF YOU REALLY TRY and remember, family (our nuclear families) are for life and should ALWAYS be priority. I'm sorry to say, but ESPECIALLY if you have a terminal illness, you need to FORGIVE AND FORGET. Life is too short. Don't make someone else feel responsible for your health (or lack thereof) - use this time to ammend broken relationships and be at peace.