Congratulation It’s A Boy And He Is 43 Years Old! Or How I learned That I Had A Son That I Didn’t Know Existed

My part of this story begins with a phone call. My wife called me and she told me she had heard from someone in Colorado that was asking her a lot of questions about me. She then asked me “do you have something to tell me”? I was clueless and asked her for more information. My wife told me that a person identified themselves as a Confidential Intermediary was trying to reach me. He was trying to confirm personal information like what high school I had attended, etc. He left his number with my wife for me to call him back.
When I called him back he told me he was representing an adult that was trying to contact his birth father. He couldn’t give me any personal information but he wanted to confirm my information that he had about me. I confirmed that his information was accurate and he told me that he thought I might be the parent of a 43 year old man that had been born in Denver and had been adopted.
He told me that I could refuse to proceed or I could call the individual or give permission for him to call me if I wanted to initiate contact. I was surprised to put it mildly but I was curious and I thought if it was me in that situation that I would want my biological father to contact me.
So I gave permission to the Confidential Intermediary that his client could call me. I later received a call from the individual and he told me that he thought I was his father. We had a long conversation and he told me that he had hired a Confidential Intermediary to locate his birth mother. When she was contacted she was not interested in any contact and she threatened to lawyer up as she had been assured that all information was confidential and sealed regarding the adoption process.
I asked him a lot of questions and what I could piece together was my girlfriend from my high school in Alabama when I was 16 apparently became pregnant and didn’t tell me. I recalled that at the beginning of Summer break her parents had called my parents and told them that they thought we should end our relationship and they didn’t want us to have any contact during the Summer. I was upset about this but I honored their wishes. I figured that when school started again in the Fall I would see her at school. When school started she wasn’t enrolled so I asked her best friend what was going on and she told me that she moved out of state and was living with a relative.
My son filled in the blanks from his experiences. He was born December 24th in a program for pregnant teens. The program was in Denver and was a residential school with a delivery room upstairs. The girls agreed to relinquish their baby at birth and they would be adopted soon after.
My son was adopted by an extraordinary couple. His father was a lawyer and his mother was a teacher. They also adopted a girl as well. My son told me he had a great life and he was very happy. He never even considered looking for me until he became a father and he wanted to know more about family medical history. His sister had found her birth mother and had encouraged him to do the same.
After his birth mother blew him off he was very upset and frustrated. She has two daughters (his half sisters) in their 30’s and he tried contacting them via social media but his birth mother forbade her daughters from communicating with him. He had not thought of finding his birth father but he figured at this point why not?
I was thrilled to find out he was my son. We stayed in touch by email and phone. He is in Denver and I’m in Miami. I sent him our family trees that go back to 1623. I also sent photos of my family including his grandparents.

We agreed to meet and after several months my son, his lovely wife and their beautiful 3 year old daughter came to Florida where they met my mother, my wife and our 21 year old son. We had a very nice visit that lasted for most of the day. At one point my wife had suggested that we have a DNA test done but when she met him she said there was no need to do that since he looked so much like me. We were even dressed alike with matching cargo shorts and black t-shirts and matching goatees.

We have stayed in touch and will meet again. I guess this is a good example of how nature versus nurture can impact behavior as we had never met but not only looked alike but were dressed alike. Weird how that works. Life is full of surprises. Thankfully this was one of the good kinds of surprises. I hope that he can also meet his birth mother someday too.