More hours in the day

in #family6 years ago

I need more time. We need more time.

Because of the situation with our daughter everything else has been on hold. I’m studying at university and though it is summer, my work continues or should have continued. Almost the whole of June is gone, and I haven’t even opened my books. The plan was that I would do one whole class during this month, but plans change, right?

My husband is busy as well since on top of his work he is also posting here like a crazy person. At times I have criticized it a bit thinking that he has some kind of obsession for Steemit (or I still think he does) but I do understand he is doing it for us. My parents used to babysit our daughter a few days a week so that we both could get our work done but during the summer they are away, and we are on our own. Now we can really see how much they have helped us. We are struggling to get this situation to work.

I’m not able to stay awake the nights doing my school work plus getting up in the morning with our daughter and spending a full day with her. My husband stays up writing very late each night but when possible, gets a little bit more sleep in the morning and maybe an afternoon power nap if he can get one. But I can’t postpone my studies any longer either. I just need to find the time and get it done.

So what do we do? We need to meet half way, I guess. Maybe share the weeks in half? What about the family time then? And when will we ever spend any time together as a couple? All tips are welcome!

Hugs, Momone

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Any friends or other relatives to help you out? You definitely need time for studying..

They can help maybe now and then but it's not quite enough in our situation. Let's see..

And what about kids clubs (kerhot)?

I'm not sure if you can start any of them with a short notice..

She will start a part time daycare in August but during the summer there isn't too many options for her.

Your daughter must come first (obviously). The tough question is with your education. I would place the value of education below time with the Master (he can explain the nickname). Your joint future is critical. A joint decision about priorities is the goal... yes, he is crazy... but he may be the lunatic you’re needing.

Hahaha. The thing is that as much as I appreciate the Master, my education is pretty critical for our joint future as well. :)

Study is important, modafinil helps cramming for exams.

Maybe there is a common area to spend some time that is close to home. Perhaps a park that y'all could visit and split time with your daughter there. Maybe y'all could tag team playtime or spend some family time together.

If you could do that for a couple of hours a day together... maybe you could get some study time in. Then when you tag out of study time... you can go play, and Too Nice Taraz can get some writing time. I am sure you will all be ready for a nap at that point!

I feel for you guys and the current situation. Glad the report was not bad news... pending the follow-up. It must be awfully demanding to try and manage so much all at once, some of which has been a slow simmer!

I am supremely confident, even if the scheduled plan must change, that y'all will navigate through this difficult period to brighter days! When it rains it pours... and it's always darkest before the dawn!

I may not have been much help in the way of advice... but I wanted you to know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!
Keep On Steemin' On!

Who is this Too Nice Taraz, you are talking about? ;) Thank you for your tips and it really means a lot that we have been in your thoughts.

taraz2b.png

Good Guy Greg meets Too Nice Taraz

Good Guy Taraz.jpg

I try to inject a little humor here and there. Sometimes it's the best medicine.

Y'all hang in there.

Lol. @tarazkp

You got a 26.60% upvote from @ocdb courtesy of @momone!

My husband is busy as well since on top of his work he is also posting here like a crazy person.

I often think the same but he's working towards something for you all I guess. Hopefully he takes some time off when his brother arrives. :)

I think he is. His "time off" usually means something different to mine though. ;)

Undoubtedly.

Obviously there isn't going to be more hours in the day, so you really need to call all your friends to help you, even if it's one hour at a time. One hour when you both can sleep, study (or work). Use babysitters. Maybe MLL could provide help for you? https://www.mll.fi/vanhemmille/lastenhoitovalityspisteet Or private babysitters? You don't even have to leave the house if your goal is to sleep or study for a little while.

Schedule everything you want to do. Make a family timetable. Lukujärjestys. And do not change easily the things you decided to put there. Being with someone and having kids means compromises. If one of you is not willing to compromise more than the other, then you absolutely have to meet half way.

And lastly but not least of all, prioritize. You really have limited time. 24 hours in a day. Your daughter is this age only once.

Take care of your own health because if you are not alright, you can not be there for your daughter. So sleep enough, whenever needed and whenever you can. Things will look brighter with enough sleep.

Be with you daughter. She will soon grow and after couple of years some things will be easier just as some things will be harder.

Adjusting work, study and leisure time is hard, I know, but although studying is very important, you can do it later. Next year. Studying will wait for you. Your family is more important and if that means that you are the one to postpone your goals because you may have to compromise more, then you just have to accept it.

We know Steemit isn't this important, and that Steemit will still be here tomorrow even if there is one or two (five) posts less from someone. But it doesn't help your situation if only we know it. So if there's nothing to be done to that situation, I'm afraid you have to compromise more. Unfair, but your daughter will thank you now and later.

My advice for prioritizing:

  1. sleep
  2. daughter
  3. study
  4. everything else

P.S. You can try reading your study material out loud to your daughter during the days. Studying together university material with an infant has a quite ambitious ring to it. :) Or try to read whenever you can. One page at a time. Maybe one five minute reading break every now and then?

Very good tips dear @insaneworks . I appreciate that you took the time to think about this and answer. The thing with my studies is that I've been postponing them for a very long time already and I think it would benefit our whole family if I could just get it done. But maybe I have to stretch the schedule a little bit, until our daughters daycare starts. Have to try reading out loud the study books to her.. maybe before naptime. At least it makes me sleepy, so... ;)

It's always easy to advise others. And pretty hard to do the same things in ones own life.

It is darn difficult to bend or compromise more if one does not want to do that anymore. But when looking things after 10 or 20 years has passed, one can only state the same clichés several others have stated before:

Children are children only once. Family and loved ones are all that matters. You can start or continue studies later or at old age too. Someone always has to compromise more than others so that those others can chase the things they think are at this moment the most important things in the world. And: was being right worth it.

And then there's the fact that when your daughter at ten years old turns out to be a child genius, because you read something else than solely children's stories to her, you can take the credit for that and say you did it all because of her.

True that! :)