Sienna had her first book report last week and it gave me the best idea!!
I've thought about having her learn "Green Eggs and Ham", By Doctor Seuss before any other book so we could both have the same "1st book that we learned to read", and this was the perfect time to try and get her on board and motivated to take this journey. I had to convince her for if I made it a mandatory assignment she would reject it. But, how could I convince her?
A couple of years ago I was sober but I still didn't have custody of Sienna. I had zero rights but I knew her birth mother was taking her to a house with drugs, guns, and people using drugs so one day when I was taking her birth mother home I took a stand and finally said the only way Sienna was getting out of the car was if a police officer took her out. I knew that this could end in me not seeing my daughter for months but I just couldn't take the stress of being at work with a chest full of stress and the constant reel of hypothetical scenarios which all end in Sienna being Harmed that played in my head.
after about 10 minutes of yelling and arguing me and Sienna were heading down the hill, just me and her. not her mom, and not her brother.
She was confused, scared, and crying. to her, I was her father but I was also the man who just took her away from her mother and brother against all of their wills. I was hiding tears of my own and her crying was so loud, and I was stressed, I lost it and yelled " SIENNA STOP. I DIDN'T STEAL YOU. I AM YOUR DAD. THERE ARE BAD THINGS AND BAD PEOPLE THERE. I DIDN'T STEAL YOU. I SAVED YOU!!!
She was still sad but she stopped screaming and I immediately felt horrible. I just lost it for a moment. I told her I was sorry and I shouldn't have yelled and that we can have a funny Daddy-Daugther Day.
We went home and laid down. I was exhausted It was my day off and my job was to throw and stack around 50,000 pounds of ice a day. so I searched for something for her to watch so I could pass out in the bed while we had our "snack and movie day".
The show I found was "Green Eggs and Ham" on Netflix. It didn't follow the same plotline of course because it would be super boring to watch someone try and get someone to eat eggs and ham for hours, but it had a great plotline nevertheless. It was a truly great series and it's a connection to my childhood that allowed me to hide away in my bed from all my fears and stresses and enjoy a day alone with my daughter. She is such a beautiful thing. And I do owe her my life because without the strength I got from fighting having her made all of the months of working constantly, not sleeping, doing community service, taking drug and addiction classes, taking care of kids, running the wayve, and trying to work a thorough program in my recovery possible. That's no sappy parenting emotional shit. I'm just giving her credit because she deserves it.
So this book has such specific deep meanings for me. I started her on a daily routine of exercises to teach her to read the book. And I'm having her a Doctor Seuss party when she can read the whole book by herself.
I am a lucky guy.
Thanks for checking out my post. Writing this did so much for me emotionally and I'm so grateful to have you guys 💯❤💯.
And shout out to @daltono for all the motivation and assistance with getting me going and helping me solve problems.
Sounds like an intense moment out of a dramatic film. You did what had to be done and today it shows you made the correct decision. I'm sure Sienna better understands now that her quality of life is far superior because of that difficult choice you made that day. Surely when she is an adult, she will look back and be thankful that you saved her from many traumatic experiences that would have been far worse than that one day where you had to stand up for what you believed to be best for your girl.
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